grr. I am sick, and Esa is depressed. Bad combination. the really sucky part is, I'm too sick to care enough to ask enough questions to figure out what's wrong with her... this is what happened:
Saturday, she stepped on the scale and burst into tears (may I point out that Elisa doesn't cry very often?)... I asked he what was wrong, and she said she's gained 6 pounds. And she thinks she's fat because her jeans fit? or something... so, not feeling great, I kinda shrugged it off as something she would get over.... and she went and cried on Ian for a while.
Sunday, I didn't go to church because I was sick and I had stuff to do (bad combination)... so I got up and got started on stuff a few minutes before Esa and Ian got back from church. Elisa informed me upon entering the room that Ian needed to use the computer (translation: Ian needs to use *my* computer, because he is to cheap to buy DSL and AOL dial-up is frickin' slow). So, not feeling like putting up a fight with a roommate that had been not entirely stable the day before, I vacated my computer chair for Ian. Ian got online, and registered Elisa with Career Services... and then informed her that her GPA was too low to qualify her for any interviews... which I could have told him before he registered her... but ok. So she, once again, dissolves into tears because no one will ever hire her, not even Wal-mart, or a grocery store, they all think she's stupid... and Ian calmed her down and took her out to lunch...
And today, I got up to go to lab (having slept through class due to a Nyquil hangover), and Esa was crying again. And she told me how unfair it was that she had worked six years for a degree that noone would let her use, and if she took a nontechnical job, her degree would be useless in two years, and she owes her parents a bizillion dollars for putting her through school, and they want payments starting 6 months after she graduates, and she's going to die because she can't get a job..... And I tried to tell her to wait it out... keep looking and don't gve up, she doesn't graduate until May anyway... and she said that if she didn't have a job by December, chances were she wouldn't get one.... So, knowing how devout a christian she claims to be, I asked her why she thought God would get her all the way through school and then drop her? And she informend me that God had nothing to do with her getting through school, if He had she would have gotten all A's and finished in 4 years, and all He ever promised us was food and clothes, not an education or a job or a husband.
Silly me, I thought God was bigger than all that. But maybe I was wrong... it just seems kind of pointless to serve a God who isn't powerful or careing enough to get me a job, or, for that matter, a God that has no contacts in the engineering world.
posted by Deedee 6:47 PM
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
