Sbbn let me peek into his world for a minute last night... he let me raed some things he wrote... very thought provoking. Catching a glimpse of someone at that personal a level is a very sobering thing...
And it made me think. About things I had written. And how long it had been since I wrote anything that wasn't general weblog newsy type stuff. Not that I intend to start posting more personal things here all the time, I think I manage to balance personal thoughts and current events fairly well, without scaring anyone off... But there are some htings you can't blog about. Even if I passwrod protected my site... some subjects are a little too tender to see in type...
Somehow, though, I manage to write them down in non-electronic format. Maybe that's "safer"... no one can hack my journal... or maybe it's more personal to write things out by hand... I don't know. I keep a journal to write in when the need arises... I've written in it maybe... I dunno... four times in the last two years? But I carry it around... from home to school and back... almost everywhere I go. Like I might suddenly have the urge to write something truely profound...
And yet I haven't written in it lately. Last semester, I think I just didn't have time... I was pretty far gone for most of the semester, stress and sleep wise... but now? I don't know. I think I'm intimidated by the profoundness of my last two entries... one was about an encounter with Robert... one was about masking emotions... both are uncommonly well written for something of mine... I don't know.
I looked back over everything in my little book... most of it is from my freshman year... I can tell you exactly what was going on in my life when I wrote each entry... who was around, who was mad at me, where I was when I wrote it... it's weird. Like looking through a scrapbook or something. It's nice to know that I've changed some since then... changed a lot. And yet... in some ways, I haven't changed at all. I still have a lot of the same fears and worries... but I tend to worry less, at least.
Anyway... enough random babbling. For now, anyway.
posted by Deedee 3:12 PM
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
