Everyone calm down, and take a rational minute to listen to what I have to say, without assuming I am attacking you, or tyring to perpetuate the argument.
Now. Here goes.
Sometimes people get on my nerves. I doubt there is anyone who doesn't. And when that happens, because I realize that people getting on my nerves may be my fault, and not theirs, I try to find someone uninvolved to talk to.
Chad was a good person to talk to because I trust him, and also because he was in Colorado, and therefore was not in contact with any of my friends. How many times have I gone to one of my boys to talk when I was frustrated with Chad? I would hardly say I ridicule him...
Sometimes you just need to vent. And, in the interest of keeping peace within friendships, you don't always vent on the person who frustrated you... You may hint at it, but you never push the issue with them. sometimes, you just find someone who will listen, and blow off steam.
But, sometimes, when you are having a long week to begin with, and you are running on a serious lack of sleep, you don't think about things.
Someone says something, and you don't think it sounds right. So you ask around. Ask people who should know. And you get some information. And that information is verified by several sources. So you comment that based on your information, what they said was incorrect. Not attacking anyone, not actually trying to start a fight. Just to say, hey, based on the info I have, this isn't the way it is. And maybe that information is wrong, maybe it isn't. But it's all the info you have at the time.
And they argue. And you argue back for a few minutes. Even though you detest arguing over stupid things, and worse, arguing over cars... and finally, at some point in the argument, your sleep dep catches up with you, and you forget you are a nice person.
And so you let people know when they frustrate you. And they, in turn, get pissed. And feelings are hurt, and people stop talking, and you're left feeling like crap for having said anything in the first place.
But you don't back down, because people are always telling you you need to stand up for yourself, and tell people what you think. And people take it as an attack. And people get even more upset. And you feel even more like crap.
This is why I hate being assertive. This is why, when you tell me I need assertiveness training, I say no, that's ok. Because being assertive pisses people off. Even if you are just complaining about how your steak was cooked.
And because I hate knowing that people are mad at me.
The original debate can be continued in Chad's blog, if it is deemed necessary. But I am no longer arguing. Because it's not worth fighting over. When I find something worth fighting over, I'll let you know.
posted by Deedee 10:08 AM
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
