I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the whole world... he's stuck in an airport right now, trying to make it home to see me for Thankgiving.
See, it went something like this... I have spent the last umm.... three months? Stressing about whether Chad was going to make it down for Thanksgiving, and whether I was going to go up the Southaven, and whether I was going to go up there even if he didn't make it, yada yada yada... And Chad decided it would be a great idea to just show up here this morning and pick me up... Which was, of course, a wonderful idea. Except for one thing... no one factored in Chad's odd luck... yeah. So Chad got on an airplane last night to fly from Denver to Indiana (I think?)... but the plane was an hour late leaving (it wasn't Chad's fault, I swear!)... So Chad missed his connecting flight to Memphis. And the airline said "Oh, we're so sorry... We'll put you on a plane to Memphis a 1pm on Thankgiving day... but no, you can't have your luggage back, we'll send it to Memphis on the next flight. Here's a t-shirt and some toothpaste for your trouble." And Chad yelled and kicked and screamed... but they wouldn't do anything... so he ended up staying the night in wherever he is... and spending the day in the airport trying to make it on an earlier flight... there's one more flight today he might be able to get on, but it's probably overbooked, so we're not sure. But he will definately fly out tomorrow... no later than 1pm... and then he's coming to get me... and I'll be all happy and stuff... and we will eat turkey.
The moral of the story is: never fly Northwest... and always account for Chad's luck to randomly kick in at some point during a trip *grin*
So I'm here at school, until tomorrow afternoon... and everyone else has left. it's an interesting feeling... I don't think I've ever been on campus when it was this quiet... not even Easter weekend. I took a walk earlier tonight, and the lights are off in most of the buildings... the drill field is dark... the union is locked... there are a max of five cars in any given parking lot... But the engineering buildings (Simrall and Walker, in particular) are still a buzz pf activity... all the lights are on... random students entering and exiting the buildings... Yeah, I have a lot to look forward to in the future... This won't be the only semester I have to pull all-nighters on a regular basis. Which is depressing... but not too depressing tonight, because it's a gorgeous night, it's clear and cold and still... and quiet... it's nice. I can't be depressed on a night like tonight... the only thing that would make it better is if someone else were here... someone who could go walking with me, and talk, but would know when to shut up and enjoy the stillness.
On a totally different note, I caught up with a couple of my boys last night... people I hadn't seen in a while. It's interesting... people change, and yet... they never really do. It's hard to explain. But anyway... guys gradually lose contact with me because they get a new girlfriend and she doesn't like me, or they think that I won't approve of her, or because they are doing something they know I would kick their butt for... or whatever... but eventually, they come back. For whatever reason... I don't understand why... but it makes me feel like Mom... I'm here to make food for the guys and give them advice, and they start ignoring me after a while.... and when the world starts falling down around their ears, they come running back to me. Like I'm the keeper of normalicy or something... like I can make everything better... like... like I'm in charge. It's an odd feeling... I'm not sure I like people feeling like I'm all powerful or in charge... I'm actually glad that I'm not in charge of the world... being in charge is a stressful thing.
But anyway.... back to the point... said boys are doing well... I may have to kick their butts later this year, but we'll see about that one. One of them (who's 19) is now dating a *30-year-old* divorced woman... He says he's dating her because she likes him, and she's "more experianced." More experianced at what? I asked him... he answer was vauge... Something about dating. Yeah... he and I may have to talk about that one. "More experianced" usually means "more risk of disease"... And he's not the kind of person to think of these things ahead of time. But, other than that.... they seem to be doing well. Which is good. The world has managed to survive without me, for the most part, this semester.
Oh well... I had better get back to killing time... I have Christmas cards to finish, and dishes to do, and I should pack or something... and sleep. Sleep is good.
posted by Deedee 7:17 PM
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Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Whew... I feel somewhat better. The project is over... and I have had (a little) sleep... and break is coming up... it's all good.
And, I don't feel nearly as bad for not taking my Circuits test... The teacher had told me that my final exam grade could subsitute for this test grade if I was too sick to take it... and warned that putting %30 of my grade on the final prolly wasn't a good thing... but here are the stats from the exam:
Average: 41
A - 1
B - 1
C - 1
D - 5
F - 13
Yeah. I thought I knew my stuff, but still... given the fact that I couldn't concentrate at all, I would have totally bombed the test (the low score, by the way, was a 2). I'l have to kick my butt for the final... but there's not much I can do about that right now. Right now, I'm going to take a nap. Naps are good.
posted by Deedee 1:42 PM
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Monday, November 25, 2002
Note to world: I am far past the 24-hours-with-no-sleep mark.... I am in a bad mood, and I will use whatever laguage I feel is neccessary to convey my emotions. Do not mess with me, or I will hurt you. A lot.
And now that my group project is over, and I have the right to say whatever the hell I feel like, I want to say a few things:
If you don't bother to show up for the last group meeting of the semester (like, the one where we write the project)... and you don't e-mail or call... don't bring your whiney-ass self up to the lab an hour before the presentation and try to get a good group rating.
Don't blame your non-communicativeness on having another program due today... I had two tests, but I put my ass on the line for your damn grade... and ended up being too sick to take either.
Don't tell me that my other group member (the one who stayed up in the lab with me from 2pm yesterday until 9am this morning) is a jerk, or imply that he has something against you. He has the same thing against you I do: you didn't show up, and we ended up doing all the fucking work.
Do not, do not, do not look at me pitifully during group evaluations and try to get me to feel sorry for you. I have already been to talk to Momma Donna, and she has told me to grade you on the work I feel you put into the project... which means you are fizucked. Sorry.
People who pass out in the shower in the morning shouldn't have to go back to the lab and listen to presentations. And deal with group dynamics. Or anything like that. They should be given a day to sleep.
Teachers who require you to go to the doctor and get a note to be excused from a test after you call them and tell them you passed out in the shower are assholes, and should be shot on sight. If you are passing out in the shower, how the bloody hell are you supposed to walk/drive to the Health Center? I have only ever missed three tests in my life, and two of them were today... I must be pretty damn sick.
Other interesting things learned by this experiance:
Caffine and sudafed make a really wicked combination... but will keep you wired for however long you need.
Helios should have unlimited swap space... at least during final presentations.
The Sun labs (Butler 213) stink... no really, we are talking about some serious funk, here....
Some one seriously needs to clean the women's bathroom in Butler. I know it doesn't get used very often, but goddammit... the trash hasn't been emptied in two weeks.
It is amazing what is funny at 6am coming off of an all-nighter
All-nighters are much more fun when you're not pulling them by yourself
On a more pleasent note, I am nominating Jeremy for sainthood... he put up with a hell of a lot of shit in the last week. I really didn't think we were going to make it... but we did. At the last minute, but still... we made it. And that has to say something. And after a night in the lab, I really feel like we're friends... we'll see how next semester's classes go... I might have found a study person (if, of course, we can work around his frat-boy social activities *grin*).
And it's all over. Which is the only thing that really matters in the end. And I have a doctor's appointment in an hour. And after that, I can crash... for a few hours... then I have to study for my micro test (tomorrow @ 9:30am). And then I can sleep some more. And Thanksgiving is coming... Chad's family will love me because I will sleep all weekend, and not talk or socialize or anything. *sigh*
Yeah. I'm going to veg for a few minutes. Before I have to walk to the Health Center.
posted by Deedee 2:24 PM
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Saturday, November 23, 2002
Quote of the week:
Wow. I just freaked out! I thought my toenail was a bug!
Yeah. That's about it. I have this awful feeling that sometime this weekend I'm going to break my rule about not crying in the computer lab... It seems like everything is setting me off... I have cried more in the past three days than I have cried all bloody year... Yeah. So I guess tomorrow, I'll have to give Jeremy the "If I start bawling it's not your fault" speech. Hope I don't freak the dude out...
These coding nightmares are killing me... I tried to nap, but I started dreaming... I was stuck inside a java source file, and I couldn't get out... I was walking through all the member data and methods and everything (Like I was stuck in the computer screen, walking over the text)... I kept tripping over the dadgum curly braces, too.. they were getting caught in my shoelaces like some kind of wild vine or something. Then an SQL exception started chasing me through the code (I know it was an SQL exception, because it looked like a a giant squirrel... dadgum you, William)... I knew if I could make it into the Oracle database, I could hide in the User table I made for the site, and the SQLexception couldn't go there. But first I had to remember the password to get in... and then when I did, I couldn't connect to the database... And the SQL exception was still after me... and I looked at my watch and it was 11:00pm, which means the database was down for backup. For thirty minutes. And I knew I was going to die. The last thing I thought before the SQL exception pounced on me and I woke up was "Damn... Why didn't I just set up a try / catch block?"
And, of course, that made no sense to anyone who has never programmed in Java. But that's ok, you should get the gist of it (If you missed it in all the technical stuff: A giant squirrel was chasing me around a computer screen and I couldn't get away. And the squirrel caught me and did whatever sqirrels do to you when the catch you, but I missed that part, because I woke up).
So yeah... taking lots of drugs does weird things to your dream life.
Blah... I hate school. And I hate being sick even more. Blah. Blah.
So Hamaker sent me an e-mail back and basically said I had too many hours, poor time management skills, and I didn't understand the material. And that if I wanted to pass, I needed to spend like, three hours a day in his office. And that's not happening. So I don't know what's going to happen with that. I'll deal, I guess. I don't know what I'll do if I'm stuck here for an extra semester... If Chad and I want to get married the summer of 2004, and I'm still in school that fall... that will only work if he is here. And we don't know that yet. So my entire life is up in the air over Circuit Analysis. I never knew engineering could be this much fun...
I'm so sick... I'm sick of being sick. I feel totally lifeless. And I feel like a druggie... I'm on three perscriptions right now (not including my hormones), plus two inhalers, over the counter Nyquil and Wal-Tussin, and an assortment of vitamins and herbs and crap. It feels like I'm eating a bowl of pills for breakfast or something... And, almost all of these drugs have side effects that include nausea and fatigue. Nausea's not too much of a problem, as I have had like, NO appitiete in the last week. The fatigue is killing me. But that's ok... I can sleep this weekend.
I have gotten like, 10 hours of sleep in the last four days. Not sleeping sucks. But I haven't had a whole lot of choice... I've been up in the lab working on stuff until after 2am every night... I beginning to wonder how much of my CSIII group project is going to function properly. It's due Monday, and.... Yeah. At least Jeremy is working on it really hard, too... I don't mind pulling all-nighters, but it sucks to do it by myself. Jeremy has really pulled through in the last couple of days... and stayed up in the lab until 2am working on stuff with me. He even kicked me out last night (this morning) and told me I needed to go home and sleep. Which I tried to do... but between antibiotic induced nightmares about coding auction sites, and coughing my lungs up, I didn't get very much sleep. We still have a lot to do on the site... I'll be up there tomorrow and on Sunday... prolly all night Sunday night.
But not today... nope. I'm taking the day off. And trying to get better. And sleeping. And making a Wally-World run for coughdrops and soup. And sleeping. A lot. Hopefully. Yeah.
posted by Deedee 3:41 PM
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Wednesday, November 20, 2002
A transcipt of the e-mail I just sent my Circuit Analysis teacher:
When I got your e-mail today, I felt bad about not coming to your office to get my rework checked. I thought maybe there could have been some time I could have made it to you office (despite the fact that I had classes, labs, and group project meetings scheduled surring all of your office hours this last week)... maybe I could have made an appointment or something. I really thought I had screwed up by not coming to your office.
But then, I talked to some of the other people who had their tests returned... most of the ones I talked to said they had been by your office (some of them multiple times, at least one person came to see you three times) to have their work checked. And they seemed to think that you had checked their work fairly well, and they were ready to turn it in. And yet they all had their tests returned, the same as I did.
I guess what I'm asking is this... how much would it really benifit me to have you check my work?
Yes, I was upset that I did something stupid on a problem... but my mistakes my fault, so I was upset with myself. I would be a whole lot more upset if I had time to come to see you, and then had my test returned anyway... not only would I be upset that I had made a stupid mistake, but that you had looked at my work and hadn't caught it.
Seeing as I didn't get out of lab today until 4:30, there was no way I could get the rrework back to you by 5pm today. And, since I'll be in class from 9:30am to 6:30pm tomorrow, with no breaks, I won't be able to get you to check my work this time either. I have no idea where my mistake is... and asking anyone but you (other teachers, classmates, or upperclassmen) for help is cheating... so I don't know if I'll be able to turn this in or not. I really need the points... but what's the point of turning it in when I know I'm going to make a zero?
I am extremely frustrated with this class. My dad is an electronics tech, and I grew up helping him fix things and running checks on circuits, so I was fairly familar with circuits in general before i took this class, although not to the depth that we've covered them. I feel like I'm learning the material... I understand what's going on... I can do the homework... and yet I'm still failing the class.
Granted, I have been / am sick this semester, and I missed turning in a couple of homework assignments. But I didn't skip them... I went back and did the work, even though I couldn't get it done in time to turn it in. I was one question away from having the last test rework turned in... but I couldn't get the right answer for one of the problems. And I wasn't going to turn it in if I was going to get a zero on it anyway.
The homework frustrates me, because I never know if I'm doing it exactly right... Even checking the solutions after I get the assignment back, I have trouble determining if my answer is different from their because theirs is wrong, or if I got the right answer but followed the wrong procedure...
Even when I'm not in class, I'm spending a minimum of 15-20 hours a week working on circuits... doing the homework, doing extra homework, looking over the lecture notes... that's more time than I'm spending on any of my other classes. But I'm not seeing any results. And I'm frustrated by that. I don't know how to make it any better... I obviously don't have more time to spend on studying for this class (I have 18 hours this semester). I've tried studying in groups, and studying by myself... nothing helps. I'm not spending my time out partying or playing computer games or anything stupid like that. I don't go out on the weekends, and this year I don't even go to home football games.
So what can I do to do any better? Can I do any better? I really can't afford to fail this class... but there may not be much I can do about it at this point.
I'm working so hard at this, and I'm not seeing any results... I really don't know what else to do. I really feel like I belong in Computer Engineering... but maybe I don't. Maybe hardware isn't my thing, and I should drop to CS. Maybe I'm just too stupid to be an engineer in general... I don't know.
I'll work on the rework again tonight and see if I can get anywhere... and if I do, I'll turn it in tomorrow afternoon. If I don't, I guess I'll just have to deal with it. There's not much else I can do.
Dorinne Glasscock
Senior
Computer Engineering
Yeah... not sure if I should have sent it or not.. but I did. So there. At least it's out in the open.
posted by Deedee 5:36 PM
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Blah. Being sick sucks. Being sick and having loads of crap to do sucks even worse. Blah.
Myra says I have a bacterial infection... so she's keeping me on the inhaler, and giving me more nightmare antibiotics. Which should be ok, because I don't envision myself sleeping anytime soon anyway.
I have a few dead minutes now... then I have lab from 12-3, and make-up lab from 3-6, then I have to meet Jeremy in the Butler labs at 6... then finish my micro lab (that I didn't finish last night because I ended up talking to Mike for, like, two hours and something)... then study for my Linear test tomorrow... then study for my micro lab test tomorrow... and I have class at 9:30 am tomorrow. Which means that the most amount of sleep I could possibly get, if I forgo eating and showering (which I prolly won't.... I at least need to shower)... is something like 4 1/2 hours. Which is about how much sleep I got last night. And I'll get less sleep on Thursday. Because I have to stay up all night and finish my CSIII project... which is due on Monday. And then I have to study for a Cal test and a circuits test.... both Monday... and a micro test on tuesday. And I'm going home this weekend.
So yeah... I may be posting to fill in the last 15 minutes or so before class, but don't expect to hear too much out of me... unless school gets to me and I fee lthe need to rant. Which is very possible. Eh. We'll see. At least the semester is almost over... that helps.
yay! it finally published (I've been working on it for like, 20 minutes)
posted by Deedee 2:18 PM
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AAAAGGGGGHHHHH.... I hate blogger. It's giving me a... well... I guess it's an error, but it doesn't say anything (ie, no error message)... it just gives a link for more info, and nothing on the link makes sense with what my page is doing. But it's not publishing. Grrr.
Ha ha... just got back from Linear Algebra... almost didn't go, because I feel like crap and i have a lot to do today... but my teacher made it all worth it. Not only did he tell us exactly what would be on the test, he ranted about his mother (who is visiting) for like, half the class. And he had to stop in the middle of the class and do yoga to calm down. And he threw chalk at people. It was great. Hence, the quote of the day is from Linear Algebra... Sort of a comment on Wal-mart, Frat boys, and life in general.
Dr. Knudson:I wrote out a shopping list for my mother and sent her to Wal-Mart, and she was gone for three fucking hours! Frat boy that sits behind me:Man, Wal-mart is great... if they put a boobie bar in there, I'd stay there all the time.
ok, did the blog chalking thing... Maybe Google will pick up on it when they re-index me. Maybe new people will visit my blog! Or something... Anyway, here's the posty thingy:
This is my new blogchalk: United States, Mississippi, Starville, Mississippi State University, English, Deedee, Female, 16-20, Programming, Gaming.posted by Deedee 9:54 PM
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Just a note.... Sephen is not all about sex. Someone I recommended it too said it was, but i have compiled the statistics.... out of the 34 Sephen strips published to date, only 6 of them are about sex (implied or otherwise)... that's less than 1/5 of the comic... which is less than the sex content of say, Sinfest, or even *gasp* Mega Tokyo (if you don't count the dead piro days and stick man strips). Imagine that.
At least Sephen doesn't lust after 15 year old anime girls... *grin* She just uses her man for sex. Not unlike Tank Girl, hence another reason I compare Sephen to a combination of Tank Girl and Gundam Wing... You want something that's all about sex, watch Tank Girl. Oh yeah.
It's like the first time you got laid... and you looked up and said, "Daddy, are you sure this is right?"
~Tank Girl, talking to Jet (her sidekick)
you know you're sick, when it take too much energy to eat soup.
Lets here it for under-effective imune systems! Yay! And for roommates that come in, drink the last of the kool-aid, dump their personal problems on you, snuggle with their boyfriend in front of you, and then leave you alone, sick, and without kool-aid. Yay!
I swear... sometimes I really don't understand Elisa. She has an interview this week (for a real Enigineering job!)... but she's not happy about it. She won't take the job, even if it's offered to her, because Ian doesn't have a job yet, and she needs to live close to (read: be married to) him. This job in in Columbus... She said she could work there, if she and Ian lived like, and hour out of Huntsville (because he has to get a job in Huntsville), then he could commute an hour, and she could commute, like, 2 1/2 hours. But she doesn't think Ian will want to commute an hour. So now, in Esa's world, she will never be able to get a job. All the engineering jobs will hire people with higher GPA's, and all the Wal-mart type jobs will hire high-school drop-outs. Leaving her with nothing. Ian will also never get a job, because he has a Master's degree and a good GPA, so no one will hire him because they don't want to pay him as much as they need to because he is educated. So E-lisa and E-an will never be able to get married (I keep reminding her, if it's that important, it only costs $50)... and they will never be able to pay back their loans, and they will live in cardboard boxes (seperate ones, since they won't be married)... And, if by som happenstance, that actaully manage to get married, they won't be able to have children, and if they do manage to have children, Ian will love the children more than Elisa, and make her work while the kids are little so they can affoard to have the kids can play [soccer, baseball, basketball, etc] all year round, and the kids will thereby grow up to be axe murderers or something equally as evil.
I can't deal with that. Elisa actually has a lot going for her right now... since she got her dyslecsia (spelling?) testing done, she's making good grades (A's and B's)... she has a boyrfirend whho's going to get a job, and going to marry her (we hope)... she should be realtively stress free. But no... she's all stressed out and pissy. And she is putting further stress on already stressed out me.... and making me pissier than I already am. Grrr.
Oh yeah... and being sick sucks. Just in case you were wondering :-)
posted by Deedee 2:22 PM
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So I was feeling crappy yesterday.... So I went to the Wesley for some company, and because it was Insight night (yay for tuesdays!)... and we sang the greatest song at Insight. Everyone should here this song when they are down... it'll make you laugh, at least for a minute. Imagine this being sung by a room full of State sutdents, all clapping and stomping their feet and singing old-fasioned-revival style:
Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life,
end over end, neither to the left nor to the right.
Straight through the heart of those righteous uprights
Dropkick me Jesus, throught the goal posts of life.
There are several verses, but of course, I don't remember them... but really, the whole thing is pretty funny... only at an SEC school do religion and football mix that well...
posted by Deedee 2:47 PM
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Tuesday, November 12, 2002
yeah... life sucks.
But fig newtons are good. Unless you eat, like, half a package in ten minutes, in which case they make you sick... which sucks, because you already feel crappy, or you wouldn't be binging on fig newtons... and then you are sick, too.
And I have buttloads of stuff to do. And I'm not doing any of it at the moment. I need to be doing all of it. I'll prolly be up tonight.... but I don't guess it really matters.... Blah. I hate school. I think I'm going to drop out and become a... I dunno? What else would I be?
posted by Deedee 5:59 PM
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Monday, November 11, 2002
I have some odd feeling of impending doom.... like I know somehting awful is going to happen, or has happened, and I can't stop it, or go back and fix it. But the problem is, I don't know what... or when... So I went for a walk, and that didn't help much.... but it's really bugging me. It's like.... I can;t quite put my finger on it. I just know it's bad. And it upsets my stomach. which sucks.
On the other hand, I don't think it was the test this morning... I might have actually done ok on that. At least better than last time.... I didn't get to 15 points of the test... but I don't think too many other people did either. So hopefully, he'll let us rework it for half credit. So it should work out.
posted by Deedee 10:01 PM
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sometimes I think about your face,
I'd like to see it with my eyes
are you so proud of you disgrace,
that there's no time to realize
I see you laugh I see you smile,
with no regard to anything at all
what did you think,
or did you think at all...
sometimes I think about His mind,
and how His heart could love
a man like me and one like you
and could I even be so kind,
forsaking everything I long to do
now that you...
~Seven Day Jesus
So I have this really big test tomorrow. And i kinda really need to make at least a B on it... which will be hard, because the class averages on the last two tests were 46 and 40... but he promised he wouldn't curve... and I have to have a C to move on... so I need a B on this test. Blah.
I think i know the stuff... but then, I thought that about the last two tests... so I don't know. I have studied everything I was given... i guess that's all I can do. Blah.
So yeah, anyway.... I'm going for a walk now, in what's left of the post-tornado rain. and then I'll come back, and study a bit more... and sleep... and study over breakfast tomorrow. I hate tests....
posted by Deedee 9:44 PM
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Blah. I should be sleeping. I actually have time to sleep (sort of). But I'm restless. I'm thinking about going for a walk... I dunno. It's late, and i have church tomorrow, and a day full of homework and stuff... So I should sleep. But I don't feel like it. I'm tired, but I know I won't sleep... I don't know why I'm so restless. Grr.
I made the some of the SQL (SeQueL, not SQuirreL!!) part of my auction program work... which makes me happy. Yay for me... anyway... And I scanned some pictures for my website if I ever have time to redesign it. I have some layouts and stuff done, but blah.... time is definately an issue.
Which is another reason I should sleep. I hate not sleeping. Or not being able to sleep, I guess. It really sucks... when I'm sleepy, I have homework to do, and when I have time to sleep, I can't. I seriously need to get some help or something. This can't be normal... or something.
I find it to be interesting.... there are certain outfits in my closet that seem to pull people out of the woodwork... I wear one of these outfts, and guys I haven't seen since I was a freshman pop up and say hi. They say things like, "Hey, remember me? I sat three seets behind and two seats to the left of you in Early Western World. How's life?" And I'm going, "Do I know your name? Did you ever actually speak to me when we were in that class together?" It's kind of odd. I don't really understand it... I mean, really. Anyway....
Oh yeah, just an off topic wondering... why do people feel obligated to tell me about their sex life? Do I have a sign over my head that says "Dr. Ruth" or something? Really, I'm not that experianced... Really, I have no advice to give... Really, I don't want to know... Really, I feel no reason to share the details of my personal life, past or present... Really, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, nor should it be the basis for a relationship... There are other things, you know, like personality and crap like that. I swear... people's outlook on life is so different than mine.
Like a conversation I had today. I was talking to this guy, and the topic of sex came up, and he said something about (hypothetically) screwing some girl he didn't have any feelings for whatsoever... Commenting that guys can get off on any girl, as long as she is warm (basically). My response was that, at least to me, it would be better to handle any sexual urges I had on my own than to sleep with someone I didn't love and had no commitment to... And he said that guys aren't like that, yeah, that they do things by themselves, but they will sleep with (almost) any girl, given the chance. Which is so odd to me. I mean... I just totally don't understand. I know not *all* guys are like that... but still. Sex complicates everything... I can't imagine just randomly screwing anything that held still long enough. One would think it would lose it's specialness. And then what happens when you find someone you really love, whatever that means? Would you rather tell them you had had no other or a very few other previous partners, or that you had slept with everyone on campus? I realize that no one is perfect... but who wants to be just another notch in someone's bedpost?
I know that most, if not all, of my moral beliefs are based in my religion. And I wouldn't want to force that on anyone... I'm not condemning people to hell for having or not having sex... Or even saying that makes them bad people. Sex is a personal desicion I have no business judging. I'm just saying I don't understand the thought process behind it. Nor do I understand why sex is somehting to brag about... but hey, that's just me.
Maybe that's why I can't sleep. I think too much. Yeah, that's it. I hereby resign from thinking.... at least until tomorrow.
posted by Deedee 1:51 AM
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Friday, November 08, 2002
there... I think I'm done with it... for now, anyway. Comments?
posted by Deedee 3:08 PM
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I'm thinking about a redesign.... possibly something Spaceish... I have access to all kinds of cool space images through NASA... they're free.... and I'm sure I could manage something cool with them. I may start with redesigning my blog.... then, it'll be time to begin my evil plans! *evil laugh*
I mean, eat lunch... it will be time to eat lunch. Yeah.
By the way, this is a really awesome comic. Especially if you like pc-based rpg games... it's a classic.
Note to the world: I hate assembly. And I never, never, never want to write in it again after I leave Micro I. Never. Ever. Not even if you pay me lots of money. I will not take Micro II. Ever. Not even if Mr. Nosser says I'll fail CPE if I don't. I don't care. Assembly is the devil. And I hate it. So there.
And i hate not having any time to do anything fun. Like.... umm... redesigning my webpage (which is looking rather neglected).
So this is what I did today:
Couldn't get up, missed two classes, and it sucked. Then I got up and went to lab. And it was long. Really long. I finished in 3 hours and 5 minutes, and I was like, the second person to leave. But htat made me 5 minutes late for my CSIII group meeting... which was ok, I guess, because Sean was confused about the meeting place and didn't show up at the SUN labs (where jeremy and I were). Worked on dividing up the webcoding into three fairly independant tasks and looking at deadlines... that took, like, an hour and a half. Then I went o help Matt with his C++ program (he bought me dinner in exchange)... and that took, like, two hours. And then I went home and did laundry, and worked on my Micro program as much as I could without a complier. Got the report written, at least all the BS part of it. I showed up here at the MicroP lab about 11pm.... and it's now 1am, and I haven't gotten a single thing done. I've altered my code a lot, but the output hasn't chaged. At all. Which means I'll have nothing to Demo tomorrow in lab. And Mike will give me a bad grade. And I will be sad. *sniff*
But I won't have time to work on it tomorrow. I have class from 9:30am to 1:45pm, a doctor's appointment at 2pm (they still don't know what's wrong with me), and lab at 3:30pm.... followed by another group meeting (or at least me and Jeremy) in the SUN labs for our auction site.... I won't leave the SUN labs until at least 7pm, prolly 8 or 9. And I have other stuff I need to study and work on.... but I don't think I'm going to get ot it. I may just have to suck it up and turn in a failing lab.... unlike some people in my lab, I refuse to blatently copy someone else's code. Although it really sucks that he's asleep right now and I'm here in the lab busting my ass. Cheaters really piss me off. It sucks whne your ethics keep you from getting the grade you could get if you cheated... and someone who knows less than you cheats and has a 3.8 gpa. I hate cheaters.
But I suppose I should continue to bang my head against this stupid code.... at least for a little while. Then I will go home. And shower. And cry for about an hour. And sleep. That is, if there's any night left for sleeping by then. I may just try to hold out.... I might could make it to 8pm tomorrow... but i have a quiz, and I might bomb it if I don't sleep... but it's on Java Server Pages, so it's prolly easy....
I know if I sleep, I'll just have nightmares about assembly code chasing me around or something... So is it worth it?
posted by Deedee 1:17 AM
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Monday, November 04, 2002
Ummm... yeah.... this descibes how I feel about Circuit Analysis I (I'm the Unnamed Hero).
...where life is... well... not necessarily fun, but doesn't make you cry all the time.
...where I can take all the (programming) classes I want to take, and none of the (hardware) classes they make me take because I'm a fucking engineer.
...where history and english are classes you take for fun... not classes you cannot take because they don't apply.
...where if you have too much to do, you just get done what you can, and people appreciate your efforts without bashing you for the things you didn't finish.
...where people don't assume you IQ based on your major and GPA.
...where you can change your major with losing classes or semesters.
...where profs don't penalize you for being sick, and they don't tell you that you're stupid because you fail to grasp a theory.
...where tests never make you cry, or make you stay up all night worrying/studying
...where when you hurt you can go home... not sit through 2 hours of lecture you won't remember anyway.
...where people who hit you with cars stop and ask if you're ok.
...where group members actually get their stuff done on time, without leaving you to fret or write a presentation on the fly.
...where roommates are just that... roommates. Not sisters, or lecturers, or parasites, or a source of tension. Just someone you share a room with.
...where friends and school never conflict... and homework waits for friends who need advice.
...where AIM conveys tones of voice, not just words.
... and where people are happy, and never stressed or pissy.
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
