someone called my cell phone at 9:10 this morning.... but the missed call feature showed the number as being (856)000-0000. Which, of course, isn't a valid phone number at all. So if you called me... I'm awake now... and close to my phone... you can call back *grin*
I'm in Southaven... not sure what all will be going on this week here... Later, chad and I will go down to the Hospitla to visit his dad (oh yeah, I prolly can't answer my cell there)... and I think today I might be watching Chad and Brian and maybe Caleb move a desk. I'm not moving the desk... I will be as far away from it as possible, seeing as i dreamed that Chad dropped it on my leg and broke it (my leg, not the desk). No broken legs for me...
Anyway... so yeah, I'm here. Life is.... not normal, but somewhat more relaxed. I htink I'm driving Chad nuts though... i want to know exactly where we have to be today and when and stuff like that, and he doesn't know anything about what's going on today... The end result of this is that I'm bugging him every five minutes for information he doesn't have.
Oh well.
So I may or may not be blogging this week. Hanging out here.... the next time I can promise regular posts is after Jan 6th... (I only have 15 hours of CS courses... I should have lots of time to blog). So don't miss me too much *grin*
posted by Deedee 11:18 AM
(0) comments
Monday, December 23, 2002
So this kind of sums up my life at this point....
Holiday depression has set in... work and family and home and chrimma and nothing's done and nothing's clean and presents and stressing and family and Granny and I haven't been here enough and... yeah. As usual, I'm a little overwhelmed. Tomorrow (Chirstmas Eve) I'm supposed to put in 10 hours and still make it to christmas at my Granny's house, which may be at like, 4pm, or might be some other time, we don't know yet, and it may last an hour or 2 or 6... I don't think 10 work hours is going to happen. But we'll see.
Going to Memphis will be a well needed vaction... things are always crazy there, but not as crazy as here... I mean, really.... three working people in a house with one car (mine is still in starkvegas, with a (hopefully) fixed gas leak)... it's crazyness.
Why in all this crazyness do i insist on being a perfectionist? Why is nothing ever good enough? Why do I always stress that I burnt the cheesecake or I bought the wrong type of ham or the kids are wearing ratty clothes to Granny's or I'm not working enough hours or I'm not spending enough time at home or I'm not smart/pretty/industius enough.... Why can't I just relax? Why do i feel like people will hate me if I don't get whatever random thing I'm stressing about done? aaagggghhhh. I will never never never figure out how my mind works.
So yeah... this pulls it all together:
I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But you're sayin' You love me
And you're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me...
I'm gonna get it right this time
I'll be strong and I'll make you proud
I've prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down (again)...
~ Chris Rice
And this one...
Lying on pillows we're haunted and half-awake
Does anyone hear us pray "If I die before I wake?"
Then the morning comes and the mirror's another place
Where we wrestle face-to-face
With the image of deity
~ Chris Rice posted by Deedee 5:01 PM
(0) comments
Friday, December 20, 2002
Yeah....
So I just got back from this Christmas party... an office Christmas party, mind you... yeah. I was just.... too much. Way too much.
For those of you who know nothing about MSFC, or Redstone, building 4200 is where my boss's boss's..... yada yada... anyway, they all work up there. Including my NASA client... and early this week, we had a party there. And, as always, it was a big show of extravigance.... it was way overdone. But this.... this party topped it. Oh yeah. Definately too much.
So the party was at Alicia Beam's house (she's one of our NASA clients). She lives on the mountain, in a house that is bigger than Elisa's parents house... and all decorated Marhta Stewart style... she gave a guided tour of he house, complete with like, a dozen fireplaces, and two hot tubs and... the list goes on and on... She was sure to show ua all her sewing and painting and .... yeah, all her accomplishments. Then we ate designer food... Off of china plates... and she put on a background track for "I'll Be Home For Christmas," and sang for us.... and gave out Christmas ornaments. I mean really.... she called us all from work to do this... it was just too much.
I will never, never, never live in a house that looks like a museum. Or a magazine cover. I want my house to be comfortable.... Nice, but not... yeah. This was just too much. I mean.... really... this woman should be head of Unted Methodist Women or the Garden Club or something... not working for NASA.
No, I’m not dead… I’m home for break, which is close, I suppose. So here’s a rundown of what’s going on in my life:
Family wise, I guess everything is ok. My Granny is home from the hospital… but it looks like we’re going to have to hire someone to watch her… Aunt Dorinne can’t do it all the time, and Granny has no awareness of the fact that she can’t just get up and do things, like walk without a walker, or go downstairs. We’re still trying to figure out what we’re going to do for Christmas Eve at her house… I know we’re eating dinner, but I have a feeling it won’t be the 4-6 hours thing it usually is.
Personally… life is ok. I’m working, trying to juggle my work hours with my family life and Chad time (sounds suspiciously like the real world, huh?). Work is nice… I have a cushy government job, which means I’ve worked two and a half days this weeks so far, and two days of that were spent in meetings and Christmas parties. And now I’m blogging. Yay for me! Chad is coming to visit sometime Christmas day… not sure what time yet, but hopefully by 2 or so, to be in time for dinner. And Presents…. I got Chad the coolest thing… at least, I think it’s cool… I hope he does.
School… Well, school actually got a lot more interesting in the last few days. Weird, but interesting. So here’s how everything played out: I was really upset over this whole circuits thing… went to Nosser’s office, I bawled all over the place, nothing happened with my grade, he couldn’t do anything. So he calmed me down and reminded me that God is still in control… and told me to drop all my courses that depended on Circuits and sign up for half ECE and half CS courses for next semester. So I did. And I stressed a lot. But I looked more into CS, and learned what cool courses I can take if I go that route (AI, Computer Forensics, Software Engineering, stuff like that). I looked at taking 4+ semesters of straight hardware courses in a department that is known for failing students… or 3 semesters of programming courses in a department that is at least somewhat more cordial. And I decided that the CS route wouldn’t be that bad, I would enjoy it more, and I would get out on time.
Then I got a flood of e-mails from Hamaker saying that due to a misprint on the syllabus, I actually have a C in the course. Which means I could, with some schedule tweaking, still go engineering. But the question now becomes this: is the word engineer (it’s not even a title) worth 3+ semesters of hell in the ECE department, taking courses I don’t particularly like from professors that don’t want to be there? What does it mean to be and “engineer” as opposed to a “scientist”? Am I copping out by taking the CS route?
My life is suddenly more complicated. I hate complicated.
Chad said he would make my decisions if I made his…. So I told him he was coming to State *grin* But he didn’t make my decision yet…
And Teachers suck. And grades suck. Especially grades that delay graduation.
Yeah. So Hamaker gave me a D. Here are the stats for the class: 1 A, 2 B, 8 C, 3 D, 17 F... that adds up to 31.. 2 dropped, and 4 withdrew from the university... so theres the 37 we started with. Out of 31 people that finished the class, 20 of us can't move on? Stupid, no?
So I have to go and talk to Mr. Nosser tomorrow... and see what he can do about it. These are my possibilities:
He will get my grade changed to a C (this will happen sometime after hell freezes over)
He will drop the grade from my record (fairly likely), and
Let me take Circuits again next semester and take all the other course I was planning to take (which all require that I've passed circuits)... this isn't too likely.
Let me take Circuits next semester, shoot my schedule to hell, and take Circuits 2 and Electronic Circuits 1 over the summer (maybe....)
Or he'll just tell me I'm screwed, in which case I will switch departments... CS is looking better and better every day. At least that don't screw their students just for fun. *sigh*
But I don't want to switch departments.... I like Computer Engineering.... That's what I want my degree in.... but I can't deal with the stupid departmental politics.... and I can't affoard to stay additional semesters. And if I do have to stay, it'll delay my wedding.... unless Chad comes down here for grad school.... or possibly even then.... I dunno. It's all so confusing. If I switch to Computer Science, I'll have three more semesters (what I would have left if I hadn't D'ed circuits)... but they'll only be like, 12 hours each (as opposed to 15-18). And I won't have to take any more maths. Except intro to logic, which doesn't count. (ie, no more calculus).
I dunno. Maybe Nosser will work it out for me. Maybe.
news to all: Barbie has a blog... Sad, but true... blogging will never be the same. Warning: Barbie's blog may make you puke... it's pretty girly.
posted by Deedee 10:41 PM
(0) comments
Barbie... how funny...
You are the Marilyn Monroe Barbie! You have a natural charisma and love attention. You want to entertain the world and people are drawn to your personality. On the other hand, you could also move to Los Angeles to become an aspiring actress/singer and eventually die hungry and alone, thinking that no one will ever see your talent. Ahh, well. You win some, you lose some.
And blogging tools...
You are a very conservative and introverted person. You live in your own world and you're not very easy to approach.
Yeah! I got a 93 on my stupid Computer Science III project! Kick ass!
posted by Deedee 11:56 PM
(0) comments
Sunday, December 01, 2002
Retraction from earlier blog: Chad was not stuck in Indiana... he was stuck in Minniapolis. And he wasn't stuck there for two days, he was only stuck there overnight (while I was blogging, in fact, he was at home playing games with his siblings). But, all of this was so he could show up in Starkville on Thursday, five minutes after he told me he was getting on a plane... and ask me to marry him. *sigh*
So yay for us! We are now officially engaged... unless you ask my dad, and then we're only quasi-engaged... but he doesn't count. Pictures of the ring *grin* and our engagement pictures will be online before the end of the week. And we'll run an announcement in the papers (both in Memphis/Southaven, and Huntsville) sometime before the New Year... close to Christmas, I imagine.
And my roommate is so jealous she can hardly see straight... Yay for me!
Yeah, so I'm going to go drag Chad to the lab and try to hunt down some of the geeks I know and show off *grin* I'm going to be doing a lot of showing off this week, I'm sure. Step one: make a list of everyone I know... friend or otherwise. Step 2: *accidentally* run into them this week, and show off ring. Step 3: bask in the knowledge that everyone is jealous of me *grin*
Ok, ok... I know I'm driving everyone nuts... but there aren't too many things I get a brag about.... so I'm going to enjoy this one as long as I can.
posted by Deedee 4:56 PM
(0) comments
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
