Server Side Includes now work on the Wesley site, oh yeah. which means it's now easier than ever to update things. Yay. *grin*
posted by Deedee 5:27 PM
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I close my eyes
not to remember
every crime or time I fell
into the open arms of temptation
driving the nails
how does your love remain so faithful
to the unfaithful
where do you hide the tears
you should be crying when
i've fallen again and
where do you hide the tears
that fell in the day i turned you away
you throw them away...
the sea of forgetfulness
~ Seven Day Jesus
Hey... I made it into Dave Barry's Blog... or at least, someone named Deedee did :-)
I got to see lots of people today... Sbbn and William and I ate lunch at Gooch's, then we walked William to his car, then I walked Sbbn to class... then I ran into Joe Langley and Boggess. We talked for a minute or two, then Joe and I went to the post office and walked around campus.
And I am still procrastinateing. Hence the reason I was reading Dave Barry's blog. *grin*
posted by Deedee 3:09 PM
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oh yeah... random trivia fact of the day... how many tow trucks does it take to pull a CocaCola truck out of the mud in front of my dorm?
Three, apparently... plus about 20 guys standing around looking at it.
posted by Deedee 12:09 PM
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lol.... Blog quote of the week:
Not just "Eeew," mind you, but this ghetto-fabulous "ooh nuh uh that is NOT my baby's mama" EEEEEW.
I can *so* hear someone saying that... you have no idea. It's killing me.
Oh yeah... long week. Not nearly as long as next week promises to be... but yeah. At least I have this weekend to unwind and stuff. Matt and Anna and I are going to Anna's house *yay* We're gonna have a good time.
So.... yesterday was blah, mostly. I went to class... and got nothing accomplished... went belly dancing (that was actually pretty cool, we have a new instructor, and she rocks)... got annoyed by stupid boy.... went to choir, moved furniture and stuff to the new choir room, sang, left.... went to Abners (be so jealous of me, all you people who can't get to Abners)... went to the Wesley.
At the Wesley, I sat around and did not do homework... which was fun, but not too productive. Sat around and talked to people... Mostly Matt and Sbbn. We left at like, 12:30, and they walked me back here in the pouring rain... it was so awesome. I got to jump in puddles and everything. *sigh* I love rain.
So then I called Chad back, and talked for awhile... then showered... then bed time!!
Hmmm... Ash Wednesday is less than a week away. Any ideas as to what I should give up for Lent?
posted by Deedee 10:31 AM
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Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Have you ever felt like you really didn't want to deal with the complexities of being around people... but if you spend one more minute alone you would go totally and completely insane?
No... didn't think so. Me neither. Never.
So yeah. Now I'm going to go somewhere where there are people... not that I would go insane, or anything... not me. Nope.
posted by Deedee 6:10 PM
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Lots o' links today....
First, my baby bro has a blog!! Yay for baby bros... I'm trying to hook him up with BlogOut... then you can leave messages for him!
Second... yeah... Go here, and listen to the whole thing, and laugh at Strong Bad... then go here and laugh a lot. Because it's funny. Trust me. Yeah.
posted by Deedee 1:51 AM
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Sunday, February 23, 2003
Ha ha! I did it... Now let's see if anyone notices *grin* (those of you out of town don't count, because you can't see me).
Had an interesting thought question in Sunday School this morning... How do you visualize God?
It made me think... I have a hard time attaching a mental picture to God... as I have determined that He is too big to fit in any of my mental boxes, I have never really tired to picture Him. It is enough for me to know He exisits, and to know somehting of His nature. I do not have to know what He looks like. I do, occasionally, like to have a mental picture of someone who I'm talking too... and so, when I am in need of a mental image, I usually picture Jesus. Jesus, being human, is close to something I understand enough to be able to picture. And so I have my little picture of God Incarnate in my head, and I live quite happily most of the time with that.
But if I could picture Him, what would God look like? Only once have I actually attached a mental picture to God Himself... I had a dream where I saw God... or rather, I saw part of His foot... it more than filled the sanctuary at Southwood Pres. in Huntsville. It was an interesting dream... brought on, I'm sure, by falling asleep while reading Isaiah. As to what the rest of God looks like... we will have to wait on that one. Any idea I could come up with would be purely in my own mind...
So I hear that a certain someone's blind date this weekend went really really well... both from the trying-to-get-a-girlfriend standpoint and the trying-to-stay-moral standpoint... No details to post here, as it is really none of my business to post them... suffice it to say, the weekend was a success.
After my lunch outing today, I would like to point out that true gentlemen are few and far between.
Being a gentleman is more than opening doors and such... it's an attitude. It's treating a girl as a lady... and it is never inappropriate. Guys know they are expected to act the part when they're dating someone or something... but it shouldn't be something you reserve for your girlfriend. When Chad's here, he spoils me by opening doors and carrying my books and stuff... and he treats me with respect. Watching him, he treats other girls with respect... and I appreciate that (even if the people in Colorado don't!).
I never had to touch a door going out to lunch today... but I was not treated like a lady. I wasn't treated as "one of the guys" either... it was demeaning and agrravating. It really made me appreciate my boys and how they treat me everyday...
So having said that, boys, if I do something stupid and don't let you open a door or something... remind me. With Chad not here, I forget sometimes.
posted by Deedee 2:59 PM
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You come from Dark Water. You are solitary and find peace in yourself, or maybe you're turmoiled but pull off peace.
Watched Gods and Generals tonight... definately go see it, trust me, the movie makes up for the fact that it's almost four hours long. It made me think... I love movies that make me think.
It made me think about War. Like, war in general, and the history of warfare... I thought about the war movies that I like... Braveheart, The Patriot, Gettysburg... and you can watch the progression of war. We started with hand to hand combat, with swords and axes and bows... Then technology advanced to allow us to kill people from a distance... And wars were fought with guns... and then airplanes were adapted for war use. And now we kill people from a huge distance.... like, push a button in DC, and wipe out half a continent...
So all these technological advances have made war more "safe", I guess... less casualties for us, blah blah blah... More civilian casualties for them... but we won't get in to that here... but they've also made war less... human. If you fight hand to hand with your enemy, you see their face... you know who you're fighting... not some nameless faceless mass... or a geographical region.... people. You are fighting people. But when you drop bombs on people from a mile in the air... or nuke people from two continents away, you're fighting a country... or a government... or some other non-personal thing... It's hard to think that just as many soldiers from Iraq or Afganistan are sons and husbands and brothers... and they all have families, too.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that war is inherently wrong, or that we shouldn't be in this war... I have yet to form my opinions on that. But the thought of war in general... it's so cold and sterile... and inhuman.
I think that's waht impressed me the most about Gods and Generals... both sides were so human... so real. Not Yankees or Jonny Rebs or blue coats or grey coats.... real live people... with real live families... and feelings... It didn't matter what side they were on... they fought for what they believed in.
But I shouldn't think this early in the morning. So I'm going to bed....
posted by Deedee 1:51 AM
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Friday, February 21, 2003
Another e-mail from Dr. J. Omega Bruce regarding E-week:
A great cry for troops has risen up from the west of the Simrall stronghold. All able-bodied troops loyal to the ECE cause should begin gathering arms and preparing for the great assault on the evil empire of Chemical Engineering. The campaign begins about 1:30PM with a great cookie meal outside the guard's gate to the lair of the ChemE beast. At 2PM, you must be prepared to be counted among the guardians of all that is good in the college and university.
Let none stay behind that are able to be counted.
To battle,
The Knight of Circuits and Earl of Embedded Systems
The man is really just too funny...
Oh yeah, looks like we're going to manage to eat at William's after all... or at least try to. And try to make the movie on time, too... we'll see. We just might be cool enough to pull it off... maybe.
posted by Deedee 2:56 PM
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rofl... the story of my life....
So I was *supposed* to go to William's and cook tonight... but his roommate overflowed the upstairs toliet... and didn't realize it... until it started running down the downstiars walls... so all that wonderful water seeped into William's closet, and into his room, and into his roommate's room, and into the downstairs carpet...
So yeah... I'm not cooking there tonight... might cook here... or might eat quick and go to the movie. Hmmm...
I'm sure this is karma kicking me in the butt for laughing at Chad's luck. Don't forget this, Chad... I got mine, too.
posted by Deedee 1:23 PM
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Well..... I was going to take a shower right now... but my brohter signed online, and I never get to talk to him... so I'll blog will we IM back and forth. Yay for blogging!!
Not yay for movie theaters... that don't play movies when you want them too. Like, for instance, Gods and Generals. I want to go see this movie. Tonight, if possible. And I'm planning to cook for Sbbn and Matt and William... but we can't get together until like, 6ish... and the only showtime of the movie is at 7pm. Now, I realize that this movie is 216 minutes long... which is exactly 3.6 hours. And that this causes problems for the people who run the theater... but dadgum it, why can't they show it at 9:30? It would be over the same time the midnight movies get out... really, what is up with that. And in Starkvegas, we don't have afternoon showings on weekdays... so no 1pm or 1:30 showing. Grrr.
I can;t complain too much, though... None of the Malcos in Memphis are showing it any later... and none of the theaters in Huntsville are, either.
At least they're showing it in Starkville, I guess.
I would like to point out that my Little Brother is infinitely cooler than I am. I said somehting to him and he repied with "*eg*.... *eml*" Now, I like to think I'm hip to the ways of IM... but i had no clue what that was. I had to get him to translate... *eg* = *evil grin*, *eml* = *evil maniacal laughter* How hip is that? My baby bro might turn into a l337 h4x0r yet *eg*
ok... that's it for the moment... must shower and make a Wally-World run... and maybe eat. Eating is good.
posted by Deedee 1:11 PM
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woo hoo... lots of webwork done today :-)
Check out cool pics of peolpe here... more to come, eventually *grin*
Yeah... um... you might want to think twice about loading that page on dial up... the pics are a little big. It might take awhile.
posted by Deedee 12:37 PM
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He he he... Now you can leave me "Happy Messages" Instead of "Shout Outs." Been meaning to do that for awhile. Now that I've done it once, I may change it all the time... just put random stuff there... that would be pretty cool. But then again... I might be to lazy to do that. So leave me a happy message.
posted by Deedee 12:08 PM
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David has a blog now... Actually, it's been up for like, three days, I just forgot to post a link (opps!!). Lots of cool stuff... check it out.
a few things I couldn't help but share... for the geeks... I have so wanted to try this. Especially at Insight, sometimes... it would be so funny. And a second, not quite so geeky but almost...
And a transcript of the e-mail Dr. J.W. Bruce sent out today regarding engineering week here on campus:
Date Fri, 21 Feb 2003 08:31:43 -0600
From "J.W. Bruce"
To ECE Students
Subject Defend our crown!!!!!
ECE is leading ChemE infidels by a mere 80 points out of 1000+. This means that we must win the Awards Ceremony attendance competition to defend our crown of "Best Major on Campus".
With our large enrollment and the fact that the ceremony is being held in the evil Swalm castle, the battle will be fierce. I urge _ALL_ able-bodied knights of ECE to attend the ceremonies this afternoon at 2PM in the Swalm dungeons (basement Auditorium). Your valiant service to our noble cause will be amply rewarded with nourishment (cookies at
1:30PM) and garner favors with the ruling class (faculty) of ECE.
ECE must prevail!!!!!!
jwb (Knight of Circuits and Earl of Embedded Systems)
*sigh* I slept. Like the dead. From about 5:30am untill a little after 8, when one of my roommates friends called... and then I slept off an on until 12:30.
But I have been so productive today... I have eaten lunch (wow... lunch... what a concept), and done all my laundry, and cleaned my room... and sent William home to clean his room so we can have company over tomorrow night (anybody up for dinner? Haven't exactly figured out what I'm cooking yet...) Oh yeah... Gods and Generals comes out tomorrow. Which I guess means I need to go somewhere and get cash tonight... wal-mart, anyone?
I think I'm fixing to take a shower... and then veg for a few minutes.... might play Caeser or something... hmm. And then go do homework somewhere tonight... and update the Wesley page. Yay!
posted by Deedee 4:30 PM
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So it's 5am. And I'm just getting home. Why am I out so late on a school night? Well, for starters, my only class tomorrow got cancelled, so no getting up early for me. But that usually isn't enough to make me break my routine. Sbbn had a paper he wanted me to proof... but I knew that if I decided to go to bed, he wouldn't worry about it. So that's not what kept me up... I have no papers or projects due...
I am up because I don't want to sleep. Sleep has, in effect, become the enemy. Or rather, not sleep itself, but dreams, which tend to be a byproduct of sleep.
Sometimes I wish I could be like normal people, and not remember my dreams... or not dream at all. But the only way I get out of dreaming is if I'm really really tired... I somehow skip the REM thing and get good sleep.
So this evening, a bunch of us were up at the Wesley... and the TV was on, and I was tired... and we were all stretched out on couches and stuff... and I fell asleep. First, let me tell you, the Wesley is an awesome place to sleep. I don't know why, but it is. But, I don't usually let myself fall asleep there, just so I don't freak people out when I wake up. Anyway... I wasn't thinking tonight, and I fell asleep. Which might have been ok... except last night was the first night in like, a month that I hadn't had nightmares... so I slept along fine... then Chad called, and pulled me out of a terribly vivid nightmare. I was so shaken, I couldn't stand up... literally, I stood up and sat down on the floor. When I found my phone, I called Chad back, and managed to talk to him for a minute or two. Which calmed me down, some... but I was still so shakey... I thought I was going to be ill. Matt helped calm me down... and got me somewhat normalised about the time Sbbn showed up. But I was still upset enough to not want to sleep. so I talked to Chad, and piddled around doing homework that I don't have to turn in, and wrote some insightful things (none of which I will post tonight... er... this morning. maybe later). And so I feel somewhat better. And more tired.
And now it's 5am. And I am going to sleep. Wish me luck!
My sister Mandie finally got her Norse Mythology page up... she is pretty psyched about it ;-) E-mail her and tell her how awesome she is... or talk to her through AIM... Screen Name MandarHobbit.
And my brother Rob has a spiffy page, too (might have to come up with permenant links for these... hmm)... e-mail him and tell him about his awesomeness... or AIM at hejsonofbob (yes, that is Klingon).
posted by Deedee 5:09 PM
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notepad, people. I had to type this in notepad. And I had to go to to the Commons to post it. Because my computer refuses to acknowledge that blogger exists. Grrr.
First, I have to say that Chad is the bestest most wonderful awseomest fiancee ever... and he sent me lots and lots of cool stuff for Valentines Day... He sent me flowers, and a binary clock (w00t!), and a beanie critter (it's *so* cute and fuzzy), and three cards. Lots of cool stuff. That I like very much. Especially the clock... because binary clocks are awesome. Chad 0wnz0r5.
So I had this really interesting dream last night... I could speculate about where it came from... my mind trying to compile the
religious/philisophical conversation Sbbn and I had last night... combined with me still trying to sort out this past weekend... combined with four slices of american cheese right before bed... combined with less than 4 hours of sleep... you can call it whatever. But it was interesting. And terribly vivid. Anyway...
I would like to point out that this dream is rather personal... if that bothers you, then don't read it... I don't know what else to say.
So the dream followed somthing like this:
I was sitting cross-legged on a wall. A short wall, maybe 3 feet high... and wide enough that I can sit facing down the length of the wall without falling off. The sun is shining, it's warm... I can smell the grass, the trees, Earth. I am peaceful. I recognize this place... this is my place, the place in my mind I used to go to talk to God. I look up, and Jesus is also sitting cross-legged on the wall, facing me. He is exactly as I remember Him... but I am different. Every other time I have been here, I have seen myself as a little child... Jesus has picked me up and swung me around, and sat me on his lap to talk. But today I am older... and I feel a little ackward... like I have been away for too long.
Jesus looks at me, His brown eyes searching me... "Where have you been?" He asks me. In my mind, I review all the dark valleys I have trudged through... all the time I've felt alone and unprotected. I try to think of the mountaintops... but can only come up with a few. I am silent, unable to look away from His eyes...
"What do you want from Me, Child?" He asks... And I, again, am silent... tears of shame and guilt fill my eyes... How could I be worthy to be His child? I've run so far... I've done so much... how could I ever ask Him for anything? I look away... Sure that if He sees anymore in my eyes, He'll leave. But He doesn't leave... He moves closer to me. He wipes the tears from my face, He holds me, running his fingers through my hair.
"You are not My child because you are worthy of My love," he says. "You are worthy of My love because you are My child." He paused. "What do you want from Me?" He asks again. I struggle for words.
"I don't want to be alone anymore." I finally whisper. The release of having spoken is enormous... I glance up at His face... and He smiles down at me.
"Deedee... precious child. When have you ever been alone?" My eyes fill with tears again.
"You left me alone once in the woods... You didn't help me."
"I love you, and I would never leave you. It was you who left Me. And yet, still, I was there."
"Then why didn't You do something?" I again look up into his face...
"You never asked." The pain in His eyes is as real as the pain I feel... "It was someone else's name you called." And I remember... as if I could ever forget. I called out to Her... but She didn't answer. I was too proud to admit my mistake...
"But at night... I wake up from the same nightmare alone... where are You then?"
"I am right there with you. But when you wake up, you turn away from Me... And yet, still, I am there." Still in my nightmares, I am too proud to admit my mistakes.
"Why do you let me dream about Columbia... and astronauts?" I shudder, the pictures in my mind so much more vivid than the pictures on the news... voices, images, sounds... it's too much for me to handle. I bury my face in His chest.
"I gave you a sensitive heart... I want you to be able to feel for others. You feel this very deeply. And your feelings manifest themselves in your dreams. It will pass, child... and you will grow because of it."
I don't understand... and yet I feel comforted. And safe. And I wake up refreshed.
If I could just sit with You awhile
I need You to hold me
Nothing can touch me
though I'm wounded though I die.
If You could just sit with me awhile
If You would just hold me
Moment by moment
till forever passes by.
So... yeah. Like I was telling Sbbn last night, I'm not usually one to put a lot of stock in visions and dreams and such... but sometimes there's something more there. Did God actually speak to me in my dream? Or did I just filter in what I knew He would say? Or did my mind just make it up?
Something interesting to think about, I suppose, if nothing else.
Interesting....no matter where I part my hair, I have about a dozen grey hairs on my part line... I must be getting old.
posted by Deedee 4:25 PM
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Cool song we sang at retreat... just found the lyrics on the internet...
Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name when I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name when the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s “all as it should be,” blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your name
You give and take away, You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, “Lord blessed be Your name”
~ Blessed Be Your Name, by Matt Redman
ok... this weekend. In a nutshell, this weekend was awesome. It was so much more than I expected... I mean, Statewide last year was cool and all, but htis year was so much better... so much more real.
So we all load up in the bus and head for Oxford... and it's raining... which makes me happy, but bummed everyone else out. Everyone is loud and yelling and excited and everything... in short, it's a great bus trip. We stopped in Pontotoc to eat... and made it to Camp Lake Stevens (like, 10 minutes outside of Oxford) only a little later than planned... they divided us into cabins, and we met our cabin mates... I was in a cabin with Courtney, two girls from USM I had met last year, and 4 girly girls... 2 each from DSU and The W.
*must insert random note at this point* Why do girls bring bags of stuff to a retreat? They knew it was going to rain all weekend... so what was the point of bringing 4 different lipsticks, 17 eyeliners, 3 curling irons, a flat iron and 2 hair dryers? Each? I mean really, girls... pull it back in a pony tail, and forget the make-up... we all look like crap, you're wasting your time. *end of note*
All my cabin mates were pretty cool, and we got along ok, I guess. Our small group was pretty cool... so much better than last years small group... the speaker was... a little pushy for my taste, but he had a lot to say. I guess I'm just not one of those people that sees demons around every corner, or feels led to prophesy over anyone... but that's a style thing, I suppose. Like I said, he had a lot to say, and was very thought provoking... I need some time for my brain to recompile and figure out exactly what I think about what he said.
The awesomest part though, was the worship... the band was so focused on worship, and the people there were so focused on worship... you couldn't help but feel it and join in... it was the kind of joyful worship that makes you feel so free you want to dance, and run, and laugh, and cry... all at the same time. It's truely an awesome feeling... to be that uninhibited.
I guess I miss out on that freedom sometimes at Wesley... I bring people into Wesley, and then, out of fear that I'll scare them away, I try to sit still during worship like a good little Baptist girl... the last thing I need is to chase people away because I'm a "holy roller"... But my heart dances before the Lord... and it was nice to be in a place where I didn't have to care who I was distracting or who was looking at me, I could close my eyes and shut everyone else out, sing as loud as I wanted, and dance, and move... and it was all between me and my Creator. It was truely awe inspiring.
So this weekend was definately a spiritual mountain top... I may have more to say about the speaker and worship and stuff as I figure more of it out... my brain's still kinda on overload.
posted by Deedee 5:00 PM
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Friday, February 14, 2003
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.
Yay!! Today is awesome day. I took an Algorithms test and kicked it's butt... it was awesome. And it's gonna rain. Which is also cool. And I'm going to Statewide.. which rocks. Oh yeah.
Anyway.... off for the weekend. I'll try to blog again by like, Sunday night or something. Leaving the computer here for the weekend... no homework!!!
posted by Deedee 1:56 PM
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lol.... something for y'all to think about over the weekend while I'm gone...
Oh yeah, I forgot to add: I got my Valentine's Day present from me in the mail today!! Yay for buying myself cool stuff.... I got two UNIX books by the O'Reilly company.... *giggle* I am such a hopeless romantic.
And just so you know I'm not the only one that buys stuff for myself, Chad bought himself a V-Day present, too: GTA Vice City. Now tell me, which one sounds more romantic, UNIX desk references, or PS2 games? Uh-huh. I knew you'd think like I do. UNIX is definately more romantic. And sexier too. chix0rs dig UNIX *grin*
posted by Deedee 4:50 PM
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I love drama. I think that's why theater people and I get along so well... not only are they in touch with stage drama, but they seem to attract live drama, as well. Now don't get me wrong... Drama can be very stressful. Especially if it involves me, or someone who is close to me... but drama removed two or more degrees from myself tends to be rather interesting... like watching a soap opera, only without the cheesy music and commercials. And real life tends to be a bit more bizzarre than soap operas...
Examples of drama removed two or more degrees: The girls on my hall. They whine about their personal lives all the time, in the hallway, to each other, on their cell phones... Loud enough for me to hear... And so, when I'm here, I end up hearing all about who's dating who, and who dropped which frat guy and blah blah blah... which I find to be very funny. Maybe it has to do with being outside of the little worlds that are affected by this drama (not that my world is any less small... it's just seperate)... I don't know.
Blogs. Are of course, another great source of drama. I love blogs... Nine people I communicate with on a semi-regular basis have blogs... so I keep up with them most of the time. But they are eitehr non dramatic, or I am too close to appreciate the drama... but then, I have a whole host of other blogs I keep up with, time permitting... either friends of friends, or people I just randomly stumbled upon on the internet... and most of them have pretty intense moments of drama. It's interesting to read stories of how people struggle with XYZ, and personal conflicts... and things like that, especially when you don't know any of the people involved...
So what's happening today in As The Blog Turns? Or Guiding Blog? Or All My Live Journals? I'm not telling... It's not my place to comment on the lives and times of people I have never met... I just think it's fun to read *grin*
posted by Deedee 3:54 PM
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blogging to see if I can get my blog working again... stupid IE won't read the thing..... grr.
posted by Deedee 12:21 AM
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ok.... Changed link to Williams blog... you no longer need a password. Yay!!
Today has gone pretty well, considering I slept through most of it... Guess I'm storing up for Statewide this weekend. I'm spending the weekend in Oxford, actually... or right outside there.... Camp Lake Stevens. With Wesley people from all over the state... it's gonna be awesome!!
And then next weekend, I'm chillin here in Starkville.... and then the weekend after, it's down to the Coast for Mardi Gras!! Yay!!
Anyway.... must find food. Be back maybe... dunno, though. Today is belly dancing day *grin* And then i have choir... hompefully I'll have time to write more.
I would like to make a statement... as much as IE sucks, the ITS department here at State sucks even more. Aggghhh.... ok, so here;s the deal. I updated stuff on the Wesley page. And i was getting ready to ftp it up to the server. I log in only to find out that /export is exceding it's quota. Now, I can look at hte files in /export... but I can't touch them. I do not own that folder. I do, however, own /home/ddg2/wesley. But I cannot put files in this folder, because /export is full. Does this make sense? no. But it works that way. And I understand that, and can deal with it. So I call ITS and inform them of my problem. The phone is picked up by some middle aged woman who I know cannot be anywhere near a computer... and I'm starting to wonder if she had ever actually seen a computer. So here's a paraphrase of our conversation...
Her: ITS Help Desk, can I help you? Me: Yes. I am working the the Wesley foundation website on the archive server, and I am unable to ftp file up to the server because the /export directory is full.
Her: Wesley Foundation? Me: Yes... it's a student organisation.
Her: ok, say that again? Me: I am working the the Wesley foundation website on the archive server, and I am unable to ftp file up to the server because the /export directory is full.
Her: Archive server? Me: you know, the server that holds all the org pages?
Her: org pages? Me: the pages for the student organisations?
Her: student organisations have webpages? Me: Yes. They do... and I need to update mine. So can you tell someone?
Her: so what was the problem again? Me: I am working the the Wesley foundation website on the archive server, and I am unable to ftp file up to the server because the /export directory is full.
Her: ftp? Me: File Transfer Protocal... you know, moving the files from my computer to the actual server, so you can see them on the internet?
Her: oh, yeah... right. So what was your problem again? Me: I. Cannot. Upload. Files. Because. A. Folder. On. The. Server. Is. Full.
Her: so you need more webspace? Me: No. I do not need more webspace. The /export directory is not part of the Wesley page, nor is it something I own. It is somehting that I'm sure someone there will fix... and it needs to be fixed soon, because I need to update my webpage.
Her: So what was your problem again? Me: Is there anyone else there I can talk to?
Her: I'll just put in a trouble ticket, and someone will call you shortly. What was your exact problem again? *I die of frustration*
posted by Deedee 12:35 PM
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Because my blog is here to make Sbbn's head swell... And because he just got my blog addy and will be visiting here eventually *grin* I have to say... Sbbn is the awesomest... But, lest I spark jealousy.... Matt is the awesomest, too :-)
Yesterday was cool... after getting frustrated by IE, I went to the Wesley, where William was going to study... studied some, mostly worked on webstuff. got the Wesley calendar and stuff updated. Worked with Matt on his program... ate McD's food (supper for like, $2). Hung out. Didn't go to bed until.... like, 3am, I think.
Today has been the bomb... got up to go to 8am class (read: less than 5 hours sleep), got to class, class was cancelled, come home, took a nap. Got up and showered, now waiting for Matt to get out of class and stuff so we can program more.
I think later this afternoon, I'm going to go interview Heather's praise band / take pictures for the Wesley site. Thursday or so, I'll do the same for Adrian's band. And the Tech Team. So we will have lots of picutres and stuff. Because we need lots of pictures. *grin*
Anyway... Life is good. Except I didn't get to talk to Chad too much last night, but I'm sure that was my fault... I was at Wesley most of the night. Actually, I was there after he went to bed (Chad went to bed before me? Wow... how weird is that?). I have homework to do today (when do I not?) but I keep finding reasons to put it off... We'll see... only a little of it actually has to get done before tomorrow. Algorithms, basically.
Ok... more later, I'm sure... I need to dry my hair and stuff before I freeze to death.
posted by Deedee 11:36 AM
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oh well... after that, I guess I'm getting ret for bed. But i guess I should sum up my evening.
Went to ly-berry... was annoyed... posted blog... printed stuff out... left ly-berry, walked most of the way to the Wesley in the rain (yay for rain!!!), got picked up by Sbbn. Went to Wesley. Did homework. Distracted Sbbn from doing his homework. Talked to Anna and Sbbn. A lot. about everything. welll... alomst everything. everything that matters, anyway. Had lots and lots of fun. Did very little actual work. As mentioned below, Anna is the awesomest... and Sbbn is definately awesome, too. Came home. Going to bed. Test tomorrow.
posted by Deedee 11:37 PM
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Anna is the awesomest. She sent me this... which she in turn got from her daddy. Anna rawks. :-)
posted by Deedee 11:24 PM
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oh yeah... almost forgot the quote for the week(end):
*said in best Winnie-the-Pooh voice* Tigger... I'm confused.
And I feel obliged to rant for a sec. See, I'm at the ly-berry. Printing stuff off. Do you know why I am at the ly-berry printing stuff off? Be cause I got tired of this dude bugging me through AIM to hook him up with a girl I don't even know... he was bugging me so much, I couldn't work there. I hate to disconnect, because people leave me messages there... So I'm oging somewhere else. I would post our convo, just so you could see just how annoying he was being... but I'm stuck here, with no desktop sharing... and therefore no access to my Trillian logs. *sigh* But I will summarize for you:
Him: Have you talked to K******* this week? Me: Umm... no. I've been doing other things. Like homework.
Him: You should call her for help with your homework. She is hot. Me: She's not in my major... she prolly doesn't even know how to speel UNIX, much less how to run it.
Him: so? Call her anyway. I'm sure she would love to hear from you. Me: I'm doing homework.
Him: you should call her for help. *two minute pause where I close window and ignore him*
Him: Have you called her yet? *two minute pause where I close window and ignore him*
Him: ?? *two minute pause where I close window and ignore him*
Him: ?? Me: No. I haven't. I. am. doing. homework.
Him: You should call her for help. She is very hot. I want her. *I put up away message and flee to ly-berry*
it has been pointed out to me that I do not proof read my blog entries, and therefore have many weird typos... such as raed, tlak, teh, somehting, as well as missing letters, etc. My comment: Deal with it. *grin* I'm way too busy (lazy?) to actually proof my journal... I mean, really. And besides... it gives you something to laught at. ha ha.
You know those times when you really wonder if you should keep your mouth shut? You know... like, you think that if you tell Person A wyx, then they won't assume pqr and confuse Person B? But hten you think, really, it's non of your business? But it bugs you not to have said something? Isn't it great, then, when you bite your tounge... and then Person B asks you a question that still doesn't require you to butt in, and yet by answering it, you resolve that particular instance of conflict? Yeah. It's awesome.
Anyway.... Yesterday was interesting. Met at Aldersgate at 8:30 am (after going to the 12am showing of Shanghi Knights) to do missions stuff... spent the morning cleaning out a Habitat warehouse and getting stuff ready for the rummage sale the church is having. Ate lunch at the church... then looked at paint swatches for the Sunday School room. Then Amanda convinced all of us we needed to go to a certain well known store in Columbus. Which we did. Which was funny... the guys and I stood around trying to look normal (aka, not embarassed), while other people picked out bachlorette presents, etc... I almost bought some incense, but decided against... yeah. Anyway...
We made our way back to Stark-vegas, where I decided to hang out at the Wesley with people... We got Sbbn to come over, and a generally cool time was had by all. Pizza for dinner... a trip to Wal-mart in Sbbn's pimp van (oh yeah!!)... and then I almost fell asleep at the Welsey. Made it back here at like, 1am or so, tlaked to Chad, went to bed... got up at 8:30 for church. Spent day doing homework that I should have done yesterday. Fun.
And now I think I'm oging to make a library run, and then go to Wesley and do more homework. Yay!
posted by Deedee 6:56 PM
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Friday, February 07, 2003
I just saw the most amazing thing....
A girl with a cell phone in one hand, tlaking to someone, holding a lit cigarette and putting on lipstick with the other hand, looking in the rearview mirror, with the interior light on so she could see herself... all while negotiating her SUV around a curve, and managing to stop for me at a crosswalk. I'm so impressed.
posted by Deedee 6:22 PM
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hmmm.... Thinking can be dangerous.
Sbbn let me peek into his world for a minute last night... he let me raed some things he wrote... very thought provoking. Catching a glimpse of someone at that personal a level is a very sobering thing...
And it made me think. About things I had written. And how long it had been since I wrote anything that wasn't general weblog newsy type stuff. Not that I intend to start posting more personal things here all the time, I think I manage to balance personal thoughts and current events fairly well, without scaring anyone off... But there are some htings you can't blog about. Even if I passwrod protected my site... some subjects are a little too tender to see in type...
Somehow, though, I manage to write them down in non-electronic format. Maybe that's "safer"... no one can hack my journal... or maybe it's more personal to write things out by hand... I don't know. I keep a journal to write in when the need arises... I've written in it maybe... I dunno... four times in the last two years? But I carry it around... from home to school and back... almost everywhere I go. Like I might suddenly have the urge to write something truely profound...
And yet I haven't written in it lately. Last semester, I think I just didn't have time... I was pretty far gone for most of the semester, stress and sleep wise... but now? I don't know. I think I'm intimidated by the profoundness of my last two entries... one was about an encounter with Robert... one was about masking emotions... both are uncommonly well written for something of mine... I don't know.
I looked back over everything in my little book... most of it is from my freshman year... I can tell you exactly what was going on in my life when I wrote each entry... who was around, who was mad at me, where I was when I wrote it... it's weird. Like looking through a scrapbook or something. It's nice to know that I've changed some since then... changed a lot. And yet... in some ways, I haven't changed at all. I still have a lot of the same fears and worries... but I tend to worry less, at least.
Anyway... enough random babbling. For now, anyway.
posted by Deedee 3:12 PM
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Changed my archives pages to have a whole month of posts on each page... less pages that way, and blogger was eating my archives. Blah.
posted by Deedee 2:07 PM
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Ah ha.... I fixed it!!
For those of you using IE, you may have been experianceing technical difficulties with my site... namely, it wouldn't load... if you still can't get to it (how will you read this?), I think the problem lies in your cookie settings... try accepting more cookies... or something like that.
Anyway... now that that frustration has been dealt with...
Life is still good. It rained all day yesterday, a cold dark rain... it was awesome. I went puddle jumping... which was even awesomer. And I cooked some of the best lamb chops ever... I love lamb. But it's so expensive.... I prolly won't be able to buy any more until Passover, at least. I suppose I should be happy they even sell it in Starkvegas... that's an imporvement over last year.
Tonight I'm cooking again, stroganoff, it looks like. For Me and William and whoever else shows up... Matt, Sbbn, Greg... dunno who's going to be able to make it. but it'll be good. :-)
Meanwhile, I need to shower and clean my room and stuff so I can have company over tonight. I may post later.... we'll see.
daily after midnight update: Everything is awesome... nothing is ruined. :)
It is raining. Yay for rain!! And Matt walked me back in the rain... yay for people who like rain!! And Chad thinks I am an ubergeek... yay for geeks!!
ok, enough yay's.
So today went off pretty well. Class was good... test was ok.... I should stop posting as much because I won't be procrastinating studying for the test.... belly dancing was awesome, as always. Choir was good, and Jamie fed us (food is definately a good thing).... went to Wesley to study with my boys, got little studying done. Typical.
Sbbn got a good grade on his paper that I helped him with.... and he brought me a bear :-) it's all cool and soft and stuff. It makes me happy :-)
And the world is a happy place... did I mention it's raining?
posted by Deedee 12:37 AM
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This is the aweseomest thing I think I have ever seen... I may have to start buying them for people...
posted by Deedee 1:28 PM
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Sent Matt an e-mail explaining h4x0r to him :-) He will soon join the ranks of l337 h4x0r5 everywhere... yay!
Oh, and I was asked who my boys were the other day... and the sad thing was, I couldn't list them off the top of my head. *sigh*... I suppose I should keep better track of these things... but the problem is that my list is rather dynamic... boys leave because they A) have replaced me with a girlfriend, B) have started doing somehting they know I'll kick their butts for, C) graduate, or D) just get tired of me. Said boys also return when relationships are broken, when they are in trouble, or when they get bored... and I adopt a couple of new ones every year. And then there's a few that have trancended "my boy" status, such as Mikie. Interesting....
really need to study... must study.... do not want too... *sniff*
posted by Deedee 12:48 PM
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Conversation between me and Greg... (I promised I would post it)...
Me: I would eat the rest of this cranberry salad, but it's making my teeth cold...
*pause*
Greg: I'm trying to think of something witty to say. Or something sexual. But it's not working.
Me: The two halves of your brain are fighting so hard you can't come up with anything?
Greg: Yeah, that's about it.
So there you have it... the eternal stuggle of Man... Brain against... yeah.
posted by Deedee 1:13 AM
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Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Quote from an article on FOXNews.com "There's nobody who works at NASA who isn't passionate about it... You work here because you love it, not because it's a paycheck."
Oh yeah... and to quote William (since his blog is password protected):
People that find jokes about what "NASA" really stands for to be funny, need to go somewhere.
and they can take the people that think we should go back to the apollo capsules with them.
I mean really... making jokes about NASA and the Columbia Disaster at this point is a little out of place... A lot out of place. Maybe in a couple of years, it would be less not-ok (it may never be ok)... but right now, when emotions are still raw? You cannot forget the fact that seven people died... seven people who had families... not nameless robots. People. Like me.
And Apollo capsules were not only less efficient, they were still dangerous. and they barely fit three people. And we threw them away after every mission. And started over. Go back to the dark ages where you belong.
The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.
~dcTalk
Just a thought... not aimed at anyone at the moment, so don't get offended. I just don't understand the point of braging about your religion, ethics, morals, etc... and then bragging about things you do that obviously don't match them... pick one or the other, man. Or at least keep quiet about it... I'll admit, I'm no saint. I screw up. A lot. But I don't brag about it, either... *sigh*
Oh yeah... busting it old school style... In my Winamp: dcTalk, Newsboys, Skillet, Five Iron Frenzy, Seven Day Jesus, Jars of Clay. *sigh* Memories... Not that I miss high school in general... but there are a few things I miss, a couple of people I wish I hadn't lost touch with.
The Butterfly Song... lol... one time, a bunch of us were playing Taboo at a get together thing (I guess it would have to have been the beginning of my senior year in High School)... and Daniel was up, and he got the word "butterfly." Being the only two people who had ever listened to Seven Day Jesus (it hadn't really hit Alabama then... I had brought a CD back from California, and had made Daniel listen to it because he was my bestest friend)... we had somewhat of an advantage... it was the single shortest round in the whole game. Daniel looked at me and said, "I want to be a...." and I filled in the missing word. from that point on, Daniel and I were never allowed to be on the same team *grin*. what happened to Daniel? Looked for him online the other day... found his e-mail at Troy State... e-mailed him, but no reply.
Jesus Freak... I remember the Varsity Trip (spring of my senior year) that Katie, Julie, Deidre and I sat in the back of the bus and sang dcTalk songs for almost the whole trip from Huntsville, AL to Greenville, SC... Steven finally made us stop on about our 6th time through Jesus Freak. Then, the whole way back, Deidre played random recognizable tunes on her straw slide (made from one Burger King straw and one McD's straw)... Steven made her stop that when she figured out how to play the Jeopardy Theme.
Love Liberty Disco... I tried to teach Elisa how to dance to this song... Hillary used to play it all the time. And make fun of me because I couldn't dance.... I wonder where Hil is....
Shine... My theme song freshamn year of high school... right after my dad explained to me that when I sat at youth group and no one talked to me because I was the Missionary's Kid, I wasn't on the outside looking in at everyone having fun... I was on the inside, looking out at all the people outside in the cold. Which was very comforting. Especially when we went to Chicago, and they put me in the Chaperone's van. I was really hurt for a while... but i had fun, Daddy was a chaperone, and we stuck together. And after the fact, when I learned what had gone on in the kid's van, I was happy to have been in the chaperone's van. That time, I really was on the inside looking out.
Evolution... The time Geoff Moore and The Distance gave a concert after the Stars game... I went to the game, and ended up talking to Miss Nancy, Tim, and Jeremy all evening... then listening to the concert... and became good friends with Tim and Jeremy... Tim's married now... Jeremy is in the military, stationed in Afganistan last I heard... Miss Nancy and my sister are now best friends...
Lean on me... dcTalk style. Catherine, Beka and I used to sing this all the time... complete with motions... usually while brushing our teeth... Now that was funny.
You know what I don't have? That I can't find anywhere? The Holy Books... by James Ward. Or Love Command... he did both of them. As far as I know, those are the only two songs he released... but they were big in the ghetto in St. Louis when I lived there. *sigh*... I guess they never made it into electronic format... probably mom has a cassette somewhere. Maybe.
I love rain... rain makes everything better... *sigh* rain is wonderful.
Had a good day today... went to class, napped (yeah, I decided that sleep was better than food), did homework, did homework at the Wesley, hung out with people. Came home. It's raining :-)
Two of my four tests this week were put off until next week... Algorithms and Formal Languages... yay!! And... Andrew annouced today that we can get 5 extra points on our quiz grades if we show up at the basketball game on Sunday. Which will mean I'll have a 10.5 average on my quiz... out of 10... that's not bad.
Matt and I are hanging out tomorrow... working on his CS labs. Helped William with a linked list one today... I had forgotten that they actaully made people learn this stuff... I mean, it's all in the Standard Template Libraries... or, for that matter, you could code in Java, where every class imaginable is already defined. Java owns.
Anyway... Anna is headed home to McComb (spelling?) tomorrow... she'll be back after a few days, I guess... Have a safe trip!!
In other news... I really need to learn how to hack (as in hackey sack, not h4x0r... though now that you mention it... *evil look*). It's fun. But I suck at it. A lot. Someday, I will know how... but I might practice on my own for a while before I try hacking in a group... we'll see.
Anyway... that's it for today. Need sleep. And to talk to Chad.
P.S. Long distance relationships suck. But... mine won't be long distance for that much longer... so it's ok *grin*
posted by Deedee 12:08 AM
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Monday, February 03, 2003
To nap, or not to nap? That seems to be the question.
See, if I nap now, I have to be up in 2 hours to make it to calculus class... and I'm not sure I will make it up in time... if I don't nap, I have nothing to do for two hours, and will be dog tired all day... compicate this with the fact that I'm hungry... and I should eat something... but if I do, it'll be noon before i make it into bed (if I take a nap) giving me only 1 1/2 hours to sleep... or 1 1/2 hours to do nothing and be tired.... Of course, I could probably find somehting to study for 2 hours.... but sleeping would be more fun.
Today has sucked. Generally. grr. Yeah. ok... So I went to church this morning... which was ok, except I was really tired, and i had to interact with people and make conversation, and i didn't feel like talking... and I felt even less like cooking, so William and I went out to Abner's... then back here.... then to study... grr to studying... then back here to work on an html calendar, which never quite did what I wanted it too... and sent it to Greg, and i don't think he liked it... and Chad was spazzing about dvds... and I'm sooooo tired... and then I went for a walk, and ended up stopping by Sessums for a few minutes... then going to the Wesley, where I ran into Sbbn and Matt and Anna (yay!!). And sat and talked for a little bit about absolutely nothing... and I felt somewhat better... lots of hugs helped :-)
In a totally unrelated note: an unnamed male student had two weeks of back homework to do for Spanish class by Monday... and he didn't really start on it until Sunday night.... and he finished before 10pm on Sunday. Yeah for unnamed male student!!!
Came home, sent my blog url to Matt (Hi, Matt!! *waves*), called Chad, thinking about bed. Not sleep mind you, as sleep hates me... but bed. Bed is good.
This is more or less in response to Brian's latest post... a slightly more personal take on how and why Columbia affected me.
The reason the Columbia disaster affected me so much is because NASA is now, and probably always will be, a signifiant part of my life. NASA is my current job... will probably be Chad's job... and my well be my future job. So anything that potentially hurts NASA, also hurts me, and my family, and affects me as a person. Eveyone I know in Huntsville works in some way with NASA... and for this reason, also affects me.
The Shuttle is a legend... almost sacred. People talk about all our successes, and all of the experiments done in space... and very seldom do we bring up the times that things went wrong... Challenger, and before the Shuttle system, Apollo I. Astronauts are national heros... kids look up to them... Wow, you fly the Shuttle? It's an awesome thing to see... and it's and awesome thing to see launch. And a terrifying sight when somehting goes wrong...
Seven people unexpectedly dying doing something that people you love aspire to do is enough to shake you up a bit... given ten more years and a little bit different set of circumstances, and I could have been waiting out on that runway for Chad to land. I cannot imagine what those families are going through right now...
I'll admit, the feeling while watching the news broadcasts was not the same as 9-11. It wasn't a feeling of terror, where will be struck next, who are these monstors... yada yada... it was a feeling of horror... How could this be happening? what went wrong? Challenger again? A feeling that made you call out Dear God... but left you with no words to follow it. Columbia, unlike 9-11, will not cause classes to be cancelled, or tests to be postponed... but, like 9-11 and Challenger, and the Kennedy assasination... it will be seared into the hearts of everyone who heard about it. We will all know where we were, and what we were thinking when it happened... and hope nothing like it ever happens again.
We lost the Shuttle. For a great deal of time this morning, they didn't know where it was... but it's gone. Columbia is no more. There were no survivors.
What caused it? No one knows, as of yet, but rumors are flying. The media is having a field day... talking about possible terrorist attack, problems with the Shuttle transportation system in general, debris falling from the sky, human remains... until you can't figure out what happened or what's going to happen...
So what does this mean? It means seven people lost their lives... Six of the seven astronauts were married, and five of them had children.
it means NASA will halt for a time while they figure out what went wrong... it may mean a lot of things. Again, rumors are flying. I haven't decided what I think is going to happen... I'm still in shock.
I remember Challenger... unlike most people my age (I was three). I lived in Orlando... I remember seeing it on TV... over and over and over... and not understanding exactly what was going on, but seeing my mother cry... and crying for the pictures to go away... I remember the first time Discovery launched, everyone holding their breath to see if it would make it... and being so excited when it reached orbit. The space program has always been something my family kept track of.... And so my mother called me this morning and woke me up so I could watch the news... and I called Chad... and watched the news all morning. I even watched the president's speech... which was the best speech i think I've ever heard him give...
Here's the text of the president's speech:
My fellow Americans, this day has brought terrible news and great sadness to our country. At 9:00 a.m. this morning, Mission Control in Houston lost contact with our Space Shuttle Columbia. A short time later, debris was seen falling from the skies above Texas. The Columbia is lost; there are no survivors.
On board was a crew of seven: Colonel Rick Husband; Lt. Colonel Michael Anderson; Commander Laurel Clark; Captain David Brown; Commander William McCool; Dr. Kalpana Chawla; and Ilan Ramon, a Colonel in the Israeli Air Force. These men and women assumed great risk in the service to all humanity.
In an age when space flight has come to seem almost routine, it is easy to overlook the dangers of travel by rocket, and the difficulties of navigating the fierce outer atmosphere of the Earth. These astronauts knew the dangers, and they faced them willingly, knowing they had a high and noble purpose in life. Because of their courage and daring and idealism, we will miss them all the more.
All Americans today are thinking, as well, of the families of these men and women who have been given this sudden shock and grief. You're not alone. Our entire nation grieves with you. And those you loved will always have the respect and gratitude of this country.
The cause in which they died will continue. Mankind is led into the darkness beyond our world by the inspiration of discovery and the longing to understand. Our journey into space will go on.
In the skies today we saw destruction and tragedy. Yet farther than we can see there is comfort and hope. In the words of the prophet Isaiah, "Lift your eyes and look to the heavens. Who created all these? He who brings out the starry hosts one by one and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing."
The same Creator who names the stars also knows the names of the seven souls we mourn today. The crew of the shuttle Columbia did not return safely to Earth; yet we can pray that all are safely home.
May God bless the grieving families, and may God continue to bless America.
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
