There's more that rises in the morning than the sun today... was an ok day.
I have a voice scheduled for Thursday. Yay! Then I can start running subjects (right after spring break). And I'm mostly done studying for my midterm. Which is good, since it's tomorrow. Now I'm just tired. So I'll probably go to bed when Chad gets home (in like, 30 minutes).
After tomorrow's midterm, I've just got one more assignment due before the break. Yay! and some papers to grade, but that should be fairly short work.
I never was much of a martyr before / and i ain't 'bout to start nothing new I am so tired of putting everything I have into something, only to have it come crashing down around me. And part of me is like, But look, I invested all this time, and I worked so hard, yada yada... and the rest of me is like, Shut up and deal with it, no one likes a martyr anyway. Obviously, you didn't put *everything* into it, or it would have worked out.
Warring factions in my brain. Gives me a stupid headache... which then makes it difficult to work on my current soul-consuming project (my midterms and first year project).
Thoughts... I probably think too much. Check that... I definately think too much. And generally not about whatever I should be paying attention to.
All of my female friendships seem to have a 6 month expiration date. Which probably says more about me than I'd really care to deal with.
I got called a tramp at kroger today. By someone I don't even know. No idea what the deal was.
I have a midterm on Wednesday, and I need to do well. I've started studying, but it's one of those tasks that seems like I'll never finish. No idea how the rest of the class is doing... I wasn't invited to any study sessions, so I'm assuming there aren't any.
I'm still working on getting the stupid voices for my first year project... no idea when that'll come through. I'm just short one male voice at the moment.
Spring break is coming up. And I need it really bad this year... I don't know... I'm like a fish out of water or something. I just don't seem to fit in my skin anymore, and its showing in my attitudes towards school, too.
Anyway. Enough randomness. Must get back to the studying.
Accomplishment. I have accomplished a bunch of stuff today.
I made an eye appointment.
I faxed paperwork to my lawyer.
I sent in life insurance paperwork and the homestead exemption paperwork for our house.
I sent in the renewal for my Dr. Dobbs subscription.
I did the longest stats homework to be assigned this semester (which actually is due tomorrow).
I finished the experiment design for my (5 subject) pilot.
But somehow, I still have an amazing amount of stuff to do. And I feel kinda apathetic about it. Like I would rather go home and go to bed. Maybe if I sleep for like, 2 weeks, the world will sort itself out while I'm asleep and I won't have to deal with any of it.
But I can't. I have a dinner in like, 30 minutes. At least the school is paying for ir...
PostSecret PostSecret (nsfw!) is a constant (and sometimes very much needed) reminder that I'm not the only one, and that there are a great number of people in the world who are more screwed up than I am, and have bigger problems than I do.
I wake up and tear drops they fall down like rain... Blah. Been having kinda a blah week, really. I think I'm coming down with something (when am I not?), I've been waaaay stressed out at school (having your ass handed to you on a platter by the departmental progress committee will do that), the realization that New Orleans is never going to fully recover has finally hit me, and it's just been kinda blah.
But this past weekend was awesome. I enjoyed New Orleans Mardis Gras to it's fullest (and by that, I mean the drunken part but not the orgy part. Contrary to popular opinion, I do have a few limits). I caught beads (lots of beads), ate decent New Orleans food (port of call was really busy, so no hamburgers for us), watched parades, walked down Bourbon Street, and drank a drink that was literally more than half as tall as I am. In case you wanted to know, I cannot in fact hold my liquor like He-Man, everything is funnier when you're drunk, my drunken vocabulary mostly consists of the words "totally" and "awesome", and fire is the most totally awesome thing ever to be in a parade. Oh yeah, and I'm never (ever) allowed to drink that much Hurricane again.
But yeah. Back to the humdrum (but not boring, no never boring) life of a grad student. I've finished tonight's homework, and now I'm trying to decide whether to read Eugene Field while taking a bath, or to play Elebits (the greatest Wii game evar).
Oh yeah... all my pictures are broken. I'm working on that, it's annoying, I hsould have it fixed sometime this week (moaybe tomorrow).
Broken Roads So I was going to post somehting mushy yesterday, in honor of it being valentine's day, but I forgot :/ Then when I rembered today, I realized that 1) it's not valentine's day any more, and 2) the song lyrics I was going to post that remond me of Chad... I already posted them. A while back. When the song came out, I think. So yeah, I'm not going to repost them here, but I think "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascall Flatts would have been appropriate yesterday.
Other than random forgetting of stuff (which is totally normal, for me, I suppose), I'm kind of just hanging in here. I think I might have pissed off my advisor, and I'm really really tired for nogood reason, and I fixing to have to sue my car insurance company because my health insurance company is going to stop paying for my back problems, since they were caused by my accident, and my car insurance company thinks they shouldn't have to pay all of it (or something). it all lovely.
But. It is all ok. Because, rain or shine (weather.com says shine!), I'll be in New Orleans for Mardis Gras weekend (which is to say, Saturday), and I get to see all (some) of my Mississippi people, and be totally crazy (within some amount of reason, I suppose). Yay for Mardis Gras! Yay for New Orleans! Yay for Port of Call hamburgers, and other good NOLA food! Yay for parades, and beads, and old friends! Yay for Harry Conick, Jr. (just because)!
How much longer will I try before I realize / I’m desperate in the situation that I’m in again? Blah.
I should be doing something productive, but I have neither the brainpower nor the motivation. I just turned in my Stats homework, and it was kind of a crappy attempt, but I couldn't seem to wrap my brain around it. I know it'll be simple, and I'll figure it out over the weekend (have to take the prof's comments and revise over the weekend).
My head hurts. These stupid migraines are getting worse, and I don't know what to do about them. The combination of Amerge and Aleve has brought it down to a dull roar, but I still can't concentrate (plus, my reflexes are now like, zero). Maybe I should suck it up and call a real neurologist. Or something. I mean, I seem to be collecting doctors these days. What's one more?
Another consequence of my head hurting: I seem unable to say anything intelligent. I feel like a freakin' cave man. Stringing words together in real time is annoyingly difficult, and trying to decipher what other people are saying... yeah. So. I have to meet with my langauge professor in like, 30 minutes. And she's going to think I'm an idiot. Which, right now, I probably am.
Edit: The meeting wasn't so bad. She might not think I'm a total idiot. So now I'm gonna take some time and try to come up with a paper topic for that class (need to have a topic by midterm, I think).
You say that like it's a bad thing... Quote of the day (in a very outraged voice): GoDaddy seems to be intent on being the "Hooters" of domain registry.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously I *knew* that someday my class on formal languages and automata would come in handy... This week's study in linguistics is on Chomsy's theories of grammar... which is all formals languages are, really.
Yay for cross disciplinary knowledge... I actually have a clue what's going on for once. Now if only I can find something intelligent to say about it.
Last post of the night, I promise. Classic Foamy always puts me in a better mood... "But it's ok, cause I have the pills, to cure the death." Ha.
Chad has grown to hate me watching Foamy... not because he doesn't like Foamy, but because I walk around the house for *weeks* saying crazy things like "medicated baby-heads!" at random intervals. However, I just think that my randomly intervaled Foamy quotes are revenge for his equally random multiplicity quotes ;-)
Playboy Having not bought (or even seen) this issue of Playboy, but knowing many (as in, more than several) people people who have bought it (all for the same reason, of course)... I though this was funny. (yes, instead of watching the superbowl, I'm catching up on geek webcomics. I'm sure that says something about me, but I'm not sure what).
MRI results So. I finally got a medical diagnosis on my back. Turns out (in addition to the degenerative stuff, and the weird spinal curves, which can all supposedly be made mostly better with therapy and stuff), I have two protruding discs. Protruding discs, I'm told, are one step away from herniated dics (which require surgury or they turn into ruptured discs). And, better yet, there's not really anything they can do about it. It's kind of like TMJ... there are things you can do to make it hurt less, but none of it really fixes the underlying problem.
So karate is out for still several weeks now. And when I do go back, I won't be allowed to spar or take break-falls or do anything that involves contact, really, for at least 6 or so months, if ever. Basically, I was told if I do *anything* else to screw up my back, I'll have to be referred to an orthopedic surgeon. I am never allowed to run again, my chriropractor tells me, unless something big and mean is chasing me.
Anyone know of any yoga or pilates classes in Pearland that aren't amazingly expensive? Since I'm killing at least $30 a week at the chiropractor, I don't have that much to spend on classes somewhere... but I feel like I need to do something. And Yoga and Pilates are like, the only two semi-exercise or stress-relieving things on the "allowed" list right now.
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
