This is my brain..... in part, at least.

My beloved monster and me...

2008-07-30T20:20:00.004-06:00

Consider this an annoucement (although at this point, I think everyone who reads this knows). That's me, exactly 14 weeks pregant (last Sunday). I'll post a link to my "baby blog" when I feel like making it public. We're very excited :-)

Now all the demons look like prophets and I'm living out / Every word they speak...

2008-07-07T14:31:00.003-06:00

It's funny how the smallest thing someone says can really get to you. In good ways, as well as bad (although more often the former, I guess).

For instance. The other day, I got a voice mail message from someone... not a personal voice mail from someone who directly called my phone, but a voice mail that was sent out to a somewhat large group of people. The message, for the most part, didn't even pertain to me. But at the end of the message, there were four words that made me feel really really good (which is completely nonsensical, based on the distribution of the message, etc). "I'm thankful for you". A very small thing... but it really made my day. For the rest of the day, when I got tired or was having a rough time, I thought back to the message... and the fact that someone was thankful for me. Not for my work, or my skills, or what I had done... for ME. And that, for whatever reason, means something to me.

Six things I'll never get tired of hearing:

I love you

I'm so glad you came

I appreciate you

I miss you

I'm praying for you/thinking about you

I'm thankful for you

Seriously... it's all the little things that keep me from drowning in the vast chaos of life. Without them, I would truly be lost.

WALL-E

2008-06-30T14:30:00.002-06:00

Went to see WALL-E on Friday... it was great! A really fun, silly, sweet movie, that definitely showed off advances in both Disney's storytelling ability and Pixar's great ideas and animation.

And the short before the movie was really funny. Like, crying-because-you're-laughing-so-hard funny.

Out of the shaker and onto the plate / it isn't karma it sure ain't fate

2008-06-24T13:22:00.003-06:00

So I've been eating the same brand of string cheese for something like 8 months now. And I just (as in, about 30 seconds ago) realized that there is a joke on each wrapper. Ha!

I saw a tornado on Saturday. A funnel cloud, I suppose, since it apparently didn't touch ground. But it was pretty cool, since I'd never really seen one before.

Things are kind of slow here (although I'm still not managing to get much of anything accomplished), which is a nice change of pace from the April/May rush of travel and stuff. We're not traveling again until we go back to Memphis and Huntsville for a couple of days each next month.

I read your book / And I find it strange

2008-06-18T15:26:00.003-06:00

So I'm (finally, I suppose) listening to The DaVinci Code as an audio book. And i have this weird love-hate relationship with it. On one hand, it talks a lot (so far anyway) about Fibonacci numbers, which is interesting. And Phi. Also interesting. But on the other hand... I'm more than 20 chapters in, and I feel like most of the book so far has taken place inside the heads of each of the individual characters. Like, one character says something, which reminds the other character of a time when she was 10 and living with her grandfather, so she proceeds to think through the entire incident (5 or 10 minutes of the audio book), then resume conversation with the first character as through no time has passed (which, I'm guessing, it hasn't). This would be ok, if it didn't happen at least twice in every single conversation.

I guess the author is trying to make sure that we have all the necessary background information. It just seems a little forced or something.

Anyway. I will probably finish the book, just to see how it ends. I'm not sure how I think it should end, because I'm really not sure where it's going from here. But, as long as the author keeps throwing in semi-interesting logic puzzles, I'll probably stay at least interested enough to finish it out.

2008-06-09T12:54:00.002-06:00

So, being 80 million miles away from home, I miss out on some of the good family drama. And some of the bad family drama, actually. Come to think of it, it probably evens out.

We'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat

2008-06-03T08:05:00.000-06:00

So I bought a box of Kashi chewy granola bars... they have more fiber, and more protein, and less sugar than the granola things I have been eating, and are full of whole grains and stuff instead of unpronounceable preservatives.

The problem? They taste like bird seed. Which isn't as bad as it could be, I suppose. It's better than cardboard. But not exactly what I'm craving when I reach for a granola bar.

I need some healthy type food that doesn't make me feel like a bird.

Quote of the day:

2008-06-03T07:22:00.001-06:00

"[Sex And The City] is so definitely not my cup of tea that, for me, it is not tea at all, and does not come in a cup."
~Roger Ebert

Meme

2008-06-02T10:47:00.004-06:00

In the interest of posting new content, here's a meme (since I have no real content to post at the moment):

1. Father's name ? Bob

2. Mother's name ? Kathi

3. Favorite drink? Sweet tea

4. Tattoo? no

5. Body Piercing: ears only

6. How much do you love your job? generally, it's awesome. Some days, I want to pitch my computer through the window.

7. Birthplace? Orlando, FL

8. Favorite vacation spot: Disney Cruise

9. Ever been to Africa ? Nope

10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? yes

11. Ever been on TV? Yes. I was on the news when I was a kid. My mom made me carry a sandwich-board type sign at a protest rally when Mrs. Ducacus came to campaign for her husband in Florida. Classy, no? My parents might still have that tape.

12. Ever steal any traffic sign? No.

13. Ever been in a car accident? a couple.

14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4 door

15. Favorite salad dressing? Ranch

16. Favorite pie? cheesecake

17. Favorite number? 6. Which probably makes me the devil.

18. Favorite movie? At the moment? Probably Jakob the Liar.

19. Favorite holiday? Christmas

20. Favorite dessert? anything sweet, really.

21. Favorite food? Pasta.

22. Favorite day of the week? Sunday

23. Favorite brand of body wash? Right now it's Sexy Peel soap from Lush

24. Favorite toothpaste? Aquafresh

25. Favorite smell? Lavender

26. What do you do to relax? Veg on the couch. Sometimes try to be creative. But mostly just stare at the TV.

28. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Ten years is a long time. Trying to picture myself in 10 years is difficult, seeing as I haven't even planned whats for dinner tonight. Ha! Ok, so seriously, I imagine we'll still be in Houston. In the same house. Workign more or less the same jobs (why mess with a good thing?) I'll be slightly fatter, and probably still trying to make people believe that I'm 29. And I might finally not look like I'm 12 anymore. :-)

29. Furthest place you will send this message? well... Since I'm not sending it, but rahter blogging it, I suppose it has the potential to go anywhere.

30. Who will respond to this the fastest? eh. No clue.

No one to tell us no / or where to go

2008-05-27T11:44:00.002-06:00

Back from vacation. And it was awesome.

The cruise was the best part. We went Jet-skiing, hung out on Disney's private island, and saw a little of Nassau. We ate great food, saw great shows, and generally enjoyed that whole thing.

We also enjoyed that land part of the vacation, although it was much more tiring (all four parks! Yikes!). The Disney resort was pretty cool... we stayed in Port Orleans - French Quarter.

Now I'm back and work, and super tired. But. This week is a short week (yay!) and even shorter for me, since I'm taking Friday off to go to a wedding (double yay!).

I have to wait until August?

2008-05-16T06:34:00.002-06:00

Did anyone see CSI last night? omg. I was totally not expecting that. Until about 15 seconds before it happened. I mean, I knew going into it that something would happen. But I didn't expect that. For the record, I've always hated that guy, ever since he played a child molester on Without A Trace. I couldn't believe they made him a recurring character on CSI. I wonder now, did they plan this? Or did the writers one day say, Oh look, we can really screw with the story if we do this?

And there won't be any resolution to any of this until the new season. I mean, I know what happened. But I'd like to know what happens after that.

Sorry this is so incoherent. I'd like to say more, but can't say more without spoilers. *sigh*

Trying hard to look so pristine / Like a face in a magazine

2008-05-15T11:43:00.004-06:00

My seester is in town. Yay!

I have this problem. See, I like Houston. I mean, I don't like the traffic, or the stupid-head drivers, or the fact that only like, five restruants have sweet tea, or the fact that I'm like, 11 hours from family. But I don't really mind Houston, all in all.

My hair, on the other hand, hates Houston. With a fiery passion. Take for example, this week. Tuesday, I got my hair cut. Awesome haircut, looked great when I left the salon. Went to dinner, hair looked great. Next morning, I shower and - in an attempt to recapture the look I had leaving the salon - I blow dry and flat iron my hair. With product. That is supposed to deal well with humidity. I get it looking mostly ok (still not as good as the salon, but workable). Then I step outside. I could literally fell my hair swelling. Seriously. By the time I got to work, I looked like a country singer. From the 80's. Every time I caught my reflection, I thought of River Tan's reaction when she saw Shepherd Book with his hair undone. I'm not sure whether to laugh, or be afraid that my head will implode form the weight of the hair.

Today hasn't been much better. Maybe my hair is dry or something? Or maybe I'm not using enough product (I'm using Paul Mitchell something that's supposed to combat the frizzies)? No idea.

Take some time, mellow out / Party up, but don't fall down

2008-05-12T10:05:00.004-06:00

Yay! Fun stuff is happening! and more is about to happen!

Went to a graduation party this weekend for Dr. Sarah Nagel. Who's dad is now the Faculty Senate President at State. So we spent a lot of time catching up on the real story of what's going on at State (not the nice, clean, daffodil-drama-free story that I get in the alumni newsletters). Fun times! And best of all, Sarah might not be moving far away from us (yet, at least)! While we were there, my mom called to tell me that...
My sister is coming to visit me this week! She's flying in Wednesday, and flying out on Sunday, which is the same day we leave for our...
Disney Vacation! Cruise and theme parks! As grown-ups! Yay! and a couple of days after we get back, we get to leave again because...
William is getting married! So we get to travel to The Coast and see old friends and stuff. I love visiting old friends, so we're doing it again in late June or early July when...
We meet Richie and Angela in Orlando to go to Universal for a couple of days. But, it gets better than that. They just got engaged, so...
We'll be traveling to Seattle for their Wedding in November!

So much travel! It's crazy! But yeah, it should be fun. Sometime in all of this, we might have to think about going home to visit our parents...

Things that I would never think of in a million years

2008-05-08T15:19:00.002-06:00

I would never, ever, be walking along on day and suddenly realize that it might be possible to use a human head as a bong. Who thinks of this stuff? Regardless of who thinks it up in the first place, exactly what kind of person would think that it was such a good idea that they would then go to a cemetery and dig up a casket to procure the aforementioned head? I mean, really.

This is officially the oddest thing I've read in a while. And I read some pretty weird stuff.

So quickly will I drown / in all the pools of all my reason

2008-05-06T14:22:00.004-06:00

I am totally the queen of burning bridges. I'm just saying.

Sometimes I know that I'm burning them. I say to myself, "Self, if you do this thing, you will probably forever change this relationship. Are you sure you want to do it?" This isn't always a bad thing. For example, I burned a lot of bridges when I got married. But since I hopefully won't be traveling those same paths... the burned bridges are more or less irrelevant.

Sometimes, though, I have no clue what I'm doing. I blunder blindly through, assuming that I should actually speak my mind for a change. And then, when I've spoken my mind and I'm watching the last of the smoldering embers go out, I say to myself, "Self, WTF? How did this happen? You are totally never allowed to speak your mind again!" Which of course, never actually works. The reason it never works is that one time out of a hundred, speaking my mind actually makes things better. Or makes someone's day better. Or, at least, makes me feel better. And, always the eternal optimist, I forget the other ninety-nine times that I screwed up and cling to the one time I made a difference.

I wonder if my Karma balances out?

I feel like a million miles away / And I don't know what to say

2008-04-24T12:54:00.003-06:00

I've been kind of anti-social lately. Not sure exactly why (although being pretty busy has kind of helped it along). Also not sure if I'm really over it. For what it's worth.

Maybe I'm just tired of reaching out. I feel like, all too often lately, I reach out to people only to have them walk off, leaving me standing there with my arm sticking out like an idiot. I guess that's preferable to having them cut my arm off. But, metaphorically speaking, my arms are tired. I'm not sure what the solution to this is, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't to board myself up in my house and become a hermit (and yet that's more or less what I'm doing).

Anyway. If you haven't seen me, that may be why.

In other news... I've been watching Deadliest Catch this season. I don't know why I like that show so much, but I do... it's pretty funny. The dynamics between the guys on each boat are interesting, too. Lots of families. Family dynamics are always interesting.

Summer has hit Houston, humidity and all. Everywhere, that is, except my office. As in, not the building I work in, by my particular room. Where it's like, 50 degrees. and about 72 in the hallway. I'm waiting for little tornadoes to form in my doorway, seriously.

You were handsome / You were pretty / Queen of New York City

2008-04-15T11:45:00.003-06:00

So Chad and I spent Thursday through Sunday in New York City. I had a class to take for Work (Friday and Saturday), so Chad decided to come with me and see the city. We had a great time! And did a great deal of the touristy stuff available in Manhattan. Our hotel was at Lexington and 48th, which made everything really convenient (We were about five blocks form Grand Central Station).

We saw a play on Broadway - Macbeth, starring Patrick Stewart. Fan. Freaking. Tastic. Seriously. (Chad also saw Phantom of the Opera, while I was in class).
We saw Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Radio City Music Hall, 5th Ave, and Central Park.
While on 5th Ave, we went to FAO Schwartz, which is only the most awesomest toy store eVar. Toys-R-Us at Times square is a close second.
We ate New York style pizza, deli sammiches, and food form a pub, but skipped the hot dogs from the hot dog vendors (when we were ready to eat, we almost always wanted to sit down).
We road the subway from grand central station to the downtown area, saw the Statue of liberty (this took two tries, as it was foggy the first time), the World Trade Center (it's a big hole in the city, you can't miss it), and the American Stock Exchange.
We took the subway uptown a bit, and went to the Met. We only spent two hours or so there, but it was awesome. I could have easily spent weeks there. Easily.

All in all, the trip was a success. And we arrived home safely. Yay!

In other news, Music Choice on demand has a special this month: Snoop Dogg: Does Starkville. Seriously. I had to watch it, just because Starkville is NEVER the subject of this kind of thing. It's only six minutes long, an it manages to make Starkville look like a hell hole, full of poor people and run down houses, and two drunk frat boys. *sigh* I'm not sure what I was expecting. But that wasn't it.

Maybe I push when I meant to be still / Maybe I take it all too personal

2008-04-07T15:26:00.002-06:00

In general, I over-analyze things. By "things" here, I mean everything: conversations, emails, body language, the importance of what is for dinner, etc. I have this sometimes crippling fear that someone, somewhere, will be mad at me for something. That they (whoever they are), in fact, might be mad at me right at this very moment. So I spend a great deal more time than I should trying to figure out who (if anyone) is mad at me, and what I did to cause this, and how I can make it better.

Amazingly often, I talk myself into believing that someone is mad at me (even when they aren't), and I get all stressed out about it, and (when I've exhausted my other options for trying to make this better without actually communicating the fact that I think they are mad at me) I resort to some more adult method of dealing with my problems: I avoid said people in person while saying vague, snarky, passive-aggressive things about them on my blog. Then, if (by chance) I find out that they were not, in fact, mad at me in the first place, I feel guilty.

Occasionally, though, I don't realize that people are mad at me until long after the fact, when whatever it was that made them mad in the first place is now so huge that it causes them to avoid me entirely. Then I feel guilty for having missed whatever secret sign that I was looking for in all my over-analyzing. All the while, telling everyone else that it doesn't really bother me.

The moral of the story? I should stop over-analyzing and get over myself :-) Generally, I don't get it right, and even if I do I can't really change anything. People who value relationships generally will let you know when you've seriously upset them (you know, before they can't stand being around you any more).

That being said, I really enjoyed church yesterday. It was the first time I'd really felt home there... I don't know how to describe it. It was nice to have people stop to talk to me and know my name. Joining a women's small group wasn't what I expected, but I'm glad I've stuck with it... it has certainly helped with feeling like I'm a part of something, and is encouraging me to reach out into other small groups.

My mission for the year: don't over-analyze interactions with people at church. They aren't all mad at me.

I want to be meeker / but have you seen this old Earth?

2008-03-28T13:17:00.002-06:00

I'm tired. At least it is Friday :)

I miss old-school music (old school, for me, means mid/late 90's christian rock). Pandora is awesome for being able to listen to said old-school music. Unfortunately, I can't get Pandora in my car :-(

I bought some CDs at Half-Price books, though. So I can still have some amount of Old School, in the car. And if I got it together, and figured out how to make play lists work on my nano such that I could easily swap music on and off of it... I could listen to that in the car.

Long story short, I'm whining, there's an obvious solution to my problems, and I'm just to lazy to deal with it. That's like, the story of my life.

I guess that I was hoping / that you'd finally understand

2008-03-27T11:07:00.002-06:00

The six month curse has stuck again. And interestingly enough, it wasn't me.

In other news, we're trying to tie down our cruise plans for the summer... so if you're interested in cruising, let us know kinda soon. We're looking at going the second week of May. And possibly leaving from Galveston.

This weekend I may try to catch either the CSI exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science, or the Pompeii exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. I feel the need to go experience some culture of some kind. If the museums don't work out, maybe I'll talk Chad into going to the movies with me or something.

Hey girl it's me I just called to tell you hi

2008-03-26T08:44:00.003-06:00

We have 9 teachers that teach regularly. There are 9 levels of hell. We're in the river Phlegethon at the moment.
~Mandie, about one of her classes

Um... when did my siblings get old enough (educated enough?) to randomly (yet meaningfully) throw obscure culture references into conversation? It's funny. Yet I feel old. *sigh*

For what it's worth / It was worth all the while

2008-03-20T12:41:00.002-06:00

So we drove to Denver this past weekend, which was awesome (which is to say, being in Denver and visiting people was awesome, having a captive audience in the car for 36+ hours was awesome, the driving itself was not so awesome). I got to see all kinds of interesting things for the first time on the trip though:

Oklahoma, Kansas, and Colorado. Ha!
Giant windmill things (in Kansas)
Tumbleweed
Prairie dogs
Oil wells (the kind that look like those bird-looking perpetual motion things... not sure how to describe it)
The Rockies

I also learned some things on the trip:

Kansas is the birthplace of Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill, and William Chrysler.
The first patented helicopter was in Kansas.
In spite of all this, Kansas is lame.
Apparently, real trees don't really grow where there's no water, so you get stuck with these little weedy trees... which are funny. But not really trees.
Those windmill things are bigger than I could have imagined.
Traveling to Denver while trying to get over a sinus infection will make your ears hurt. But they won't actually explode. Which is good.

We got to visit Krys, Manda, and their boys, play Shanghai (though not the last couple of rounds), eat pancakes and sushi (not at the same time), tour Boulder, appreciate the awesomeness of friends who have known you forever and don't manufacture their own drama, run around Pearl St. mall, and Manda introduced me to a store that sells happy-hippie eco-friendly natural soaps and shampoos and stuff. And they are opening one in Houston. Yay! I might have to buy stock in them or something, seriously.

All in all, the trip was a success. I would definitely do it again, with less car this time, and more airplane.

Right and left it's all the same conspiracy / just cause you ask, doesn't make a difference to me

2008-03-05T15:11:00.002-06:00

Did my civic duty and voted yesterday. Not that it really mattered much... I always was one to go for the under dog :-) I had an unrelated excuse to work from home, so I was able to go to the polls at an off-peak time, and mostly avoid the lines. This also meant that I was the only person in my party at the polls who was under, like, 100 years old. (This probably holds true for the other party, as well, but I didn't sneak over to their side of the building to look)

I went to the first meeting of that Tuesday night women's bible study last night... it looks like it's going to be a good group, but (as of last night) there isn't really anyone my age. And I'm the only one without kids. But everyone seemed happy to have me there anyway. Interestingly enough, there was a woman there who had recently moved from Starkville. So we sat and talked about places we ate and shopped in Starkville, and where exactly we lived.

Somehow, the year has gotten away from me. I was pretty sure it was still the middle of January, and then people started asking me what I want for my birthday, and reminding us to nail down our summer travel plans (since we're looking at traveling in May)... How did it get to be March already?

The sky starts to crash the rain on the roof starts to drumming

2008-03-03T13:32:00.001-06:00

I managed to take an hour for lunch again today� I went to Target, and bought Propel and paper towels. Which is entirely uninteresting, but saves me a stop on the way home.

Chad and I bought two apple trees this weekend. One for the front yard, and one for the back. We managed to plant the one in the front, but planned to do the one in the back yard tonight. Unfortunately, no one told the weatherman this, and now we're under a thunderstorm warning. So it'll have to be Wednesday, as I think we're both busy tomorrow night. And tonight, maybe I'll read or something� or at least pick out a book to bring to work tomorrow. I'm currently in the middle of several (which is typical), so I need to decide which one I want to finish next. Slowly but surely, I�m working through my "to read" list.

The best thing you've ever done for me / Is to help me take my life less seriously

2008-02-29T14:09:00.003-06:00

I actually took a lunch today. As in, I packed my lunch and took it to work (this in and of itself isn't unusual these days), and then (and this is the amazing part) I stopped what I was doing for an hour and took a lunch break.

I did it yesterday too.

The sad thing is, neither of those two breaks were actually used for eating... I still ate over my computer, while working (or attempting to, at any rate). Yesterday, I took the break to run down to Half Price Books and look around, specifically for a little journal-type book to use for the bible study thing -- I found one that will work great, I think, and in addition to that I found another journal that has graph paper instead of lined paper. Who thought of that? And why didn't they call me when they did? I bought it, with no specific purpose at the moment. I just miss writing on graph paper -- and today's break was spent reading (with my office mate out of the office, I could shut the door and enjoy some quiet for an hour, reading the Time Traveler's Wife. Except it wasn't really quiet, as I share an office wall with someone who projects very loudly into the phone, mostly about finance, and am around the corner from someone else who also projects into the phone (and at people in person), mostly about travel arrangements).

I might continue to take real lunch breaks. Until such time as I have too much work to do to really enjoy them (which will be, you know, right before the next big deadline). Not sure about the reading thing though... might have to take it outside, at the very least. Not just to escape the loud phone people, either. I forgot that 9/10 of my reading time is in bed, right before (and sometimes slightly after) bedtime, so when I finished my hour and stood up to open the door, I thought I was going to fall over. I didn't, but I'm still not sure if the lightheadedness had to do with the reading, being stationary for too long, or was just a fluke.

Actually, this week has been really easy, work-wise. Which is a nice change after last week, where I was rushing to get everything ready for user testing and trying not to die in the process (In the end, everything was ready, and I'm not dead yet). I attended a conference for two days, and spent some time tying up a few loose ends that slipped through the cracks last week. Since then, I've actually been inventing work to do, as I was so busy last week I forgot to ask for extra work to do this week :-P

There's a lot in my head, and very little of it particularly blog-worthy.