Saturday, February 16, 2002

 

I know... I’m supposed to be working. But I’m upset, now, dadgum it, and I can’t work when I’m upset. And Chad’s at karate, so I can’t call him and rant about it… and my roommate’s gone… so here goes:

So I ran into one of my boys online a little bit ago… wait, rewind… for those of you who don’t know about my boys, I guess I had better explain.

My boys are the group of guys that I watch out for, feed, comment on their love lives, nag, and otherwise take care of (like a Mom away from home *grin*). With each new set of freshmen, I usually adopt two or three new pets. Sometimes, for one reason or another (usually a girlfriend takes my place), I lose track of one or two of my boys…

So this particular guy was my “project” last semester. I about killed myself trying to get him to pass his classes… But, due to freshman stupidity and lack of study skills, he managed to fail several of them anyway. This semester, he stopped coming to Wesley, and I couldn’t get a hold of him (I tried to call him a few times, but could never reach him). So I figured he had moved on to bigger and better things…

But I ran into him online today. I just thought I’d say hi, maybe see how he was doing, you know… I asked him how he was… and opened up a floodgate of crap. Basically, to sum up our conversation, his life is very quickly going to hell in a hand basket. All because of a girl (of course). I hate girls. They always *always* are at the root of problems my boys have. Girls suck. Anyway… due to his inexperience and (again) freshman stupidity, and this stupid girl, he is currently undergoing all kinds of horribly unpleasant medical tests… and has tested positive for Hepatitis B, among other things.

And I wasn’t there.

I wasn’t there to keep calling him until he gave up and called me back. I wasn’t there to meet his girl and tell him she was a skank. I wasn’t there to remind him to be responsible. I wasn’t there for him to lean on when she dumped him. Or when he came to his senses, and realized he might have problems. I wasn’t there to cry with him when he got his test results back…

I’ve been so wrapped up in my own little world, in my own little circle of close friends, that I forgot to listen to what was going on around me. I forgot to reach out to people… And I left this guy to face his problems alone.

What kind of person does that make me?

Maybe I can get him to come to dinner with some people this week… try to get him back on his feet, get him to make some good guy friends… guys who will beat him over the head when he starts to do something stupid. I don’t know. I don’t know when I’m going to have time to cook again… I feel like I should do something… but I don’t know what.

I just want to make everything all better. And I can’t. And it’s not fair.

posted by Deedee 3:22 PM