I have no idea why, but for some reason Calhoun violates my sense of social normality. I have actually ended up spending some time there, waiting for class and stuff.... I don't know. Sitting in "the lobby" (which could never be The Lobby, it's too small, and it doesn't have a TV or bleachers) I feel obvious and substandard, and yet somehow superior, but very out of place... Like a half-eaten cucumber sammich on a plate of oatmeal-raisen cookies.
For example, I was sitting on "the porch" (Which could never be The Porch, despite the amount of smoke in the air and the number of freaks there)... and I heard this group (all guys) next to me, talking about roleplaying. So I listened to them for a few minutes, and deduced they were talking about 3rd edition... just swapping character stories and stuff... So I said something to them about roleplaying, and characters.... And apparently, that is a guys only group... or a smokers only group... or something, because they looked at me like I had sprouted a tail. After a couple of minutes of them staring, I was like, ok fine, I didn't want to talk to you anyway, and I left.
The entire "campus" (all one building) is weirdness.... I don;t know how to explain it. It's like, when I walk in, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I get really jumpy. The only place I don't feel like that is in the physics lab... I haven't had the heeby-jeebies that bad since... the end of freshman year, right before (and after) I started dating Nidgle. (Tip: if you already are seeing things in the dark, don't date a guy all in black that creeps everyone out. Just a thought).
Speaking of Nidgle.... He's invaded my dreams the last couple of nights. I have dreamed he died three nights in a row now... which is odd. But even more odd, is that he died the same way every time (self inflicted gun shot wound to the head), but in different locations. And I've found out about it differently every time. So I wonder what's going on there... I thought about trying to e-mail him or something, and see what's going on. But I really don't care to rekindle any friendship we might have had, and I get the distinct inmpression that he doesn't want to talk to me. So I'll sit here and wonder about it until I go mad... or until Walker comes and says "Hey, did you hear about Nidgle?" Depressing.
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
