No news is just that... no news. Despite my best efforts to coax the baby into making an appearance this weekend... s/he has decided to take up permanent residence in my belly.
Or so s/he thinks. I have other plans. Which include more coaxing, and then finally submitting to induction on Monday. So there is an end in sight.
I was up for like, 2.5 hours last night with contractions, and I thought that might be it... but apparently not yet. Still having random contractions, but nothing serious or regular. Just annoying.
Had spaghetti from Mario's flying pizza for lunch today, so I'm waiting to see if that's actually the sure-fire cure that it's supposed to be, lol. If that doesn't work, I'll move on to the next food... which I guess is chinese food, or thai or something. And I'll be continuing to walk, and take trips up and down the stairs. So far, nothing's really working (as of Thursday, I was still not dilated), but I figure... none of that stuff can hurt, at any rate. And it makes me feel like I have some tiny measure of control over the process, which in reality, I have none.
There's a list of people who are going to get emails (with pictures!) when the baby comes (probably slightly before I get a chance to update here)... so if you think you might not be on the list, and would like to be, email me, and I'll add you.
You should consider any post from here on out to be potentially TMI. Especially if you object to hearing about body parts, or body functions, or medical procedures. Someday, I might return to normal, but until then... be forewarned. I have no energy left to censor my posts... sorry.
Still plodding along. Almost (not quite) at 39 weeks, and the doctor said I'm starting to progress a bit towards actually having a baby. Yay! I'm apparently starting to efface, but not dilating yet. And, although my cervix is so high that my doctor had to practically climb inside me to find it... the baby's head is apparently right there at it, ready to do whatever babies' heads are supposed to when everything is ready. So, yay for progress, and hope it continues.
I'm seriously tired, all the time, and sore. And emotional and stuff. I'm ready to be done with this, and yet the thought of bringing home an infant is terrifying. I'm tired of whining, too, but I can't seem to stop. And everyone acting like I'm late having this kid already isn't helping, let me tell ya - technically, I'm not late. Yet. Just saying.
I do have a final end date where I know for sure I will be no longer pregnant... Feb 2nd. I'll be induced starting the night of the 1st, if nothing happens before then, because at that point I will actually be (one week) late. That's also the day my parents are flying in, so that could be interesting and stuff, but I guess I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.
In non-baby news, I managed to make it through the CSI season premiere without crying, really, even though I almost cried right at the end. They did a good job of spacing out all the emotional stuff throughout the episode, so it worked out pretty well. Not sure still, how I feel about CSI: Morpheus, but time will tell, I suppose.
All this tiredness does have a few perks - I've been doing a lot of reading. I'm currently reading the Cheney Duvall series by Lynn & Gilbert Morris... which is good (I had read some of it previously, at some point), and I'm enjoying it (which is good, since I have two more books after this one, plus a three book sequel series)... but I'm finding my shortness of temper even extends to the characters at points... I'm like, "Geez, can't you two see you're crazy for each other? Hurry up and get together or something! I've been able to see this for the better part of 6 books now, what's your problem?" Sadly, they don't listen, or at least haven't yet.
And I want to lay my head down on you Edit (1/16): Apparently, it doesn't count if you don't hit "publish". So this has been sitting as a draft for like a week. Ha.
I'm still pregnant. Which isn't surprising, as I'm not quite 38 weeks (so depending on who you ask, I've either been full term for a few days, or I'll be full term on Sunday). But I'm about done. All my joints are swollen (had to take my watch off today... my wrists have swollen that much), and I'm super cranky, and I'm tired all the time. It's kinda annoying. So here's hoping the baby come early. I'll be trying anything (uh... anything I deem safe? I suppose) to coax the little one out in the next week or two. Not only am I seriously uncomfortable and tired of being pregnant...
I'm actually pretty scared of induction at this point. I mean, in some ways it's silly, as it happens all the time, people do it every day... but the thought of pumping chemicals into my body to induce contractions (not to mention the harder labor) seems much scarier to me than say, having my water break while I'm waddling around Wal-Mart (which is also scary). Plus, I've known 4 women who've been induced in the last 9 months - all at different hospitals - and they've all ended up with c-sections. For various reasons, mind you, not all the typical "failure to progress" that's often related to inductions. But still. Scary stuff. That being said, all the mommies and babies came through fine, so it's all good in the end... but I'm trying my hardest to avoid a c-section at this point (at least until the doctor says it's needed, anyway).
This child will not sleep through the night. I mean, we were going good for a while, but the last few nights have been kinda rough... I've been up and down all night, trying to soothe a child that I can't even really touch and coax him/her to stop throwing dance parties while I'm supposed to be sleeping. Last night was a little better, but still... this does not bode well for sleeping through the night later. At least at this point, the silence and lack of crying means that I'm the only one that's awake (in theory... Chad hasn't slept well, either, and I think it may have something to do with my restlessness).
I have had the most bizarre baby-related dreams lately (when the baby has let me sleep, that is). For instance. A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed that Angelina Jolie and I went to a spa. The kind with pink fuzzy bathrobes and everything. And we got pedicures and talked about being mommies. (Seriously. Who dreams of stuff like that?). Last night, I dreamed the baby was about the size of my cell phone, and I kept losing track of where it was - because, as it turns out, Chad kept stuffing it in the pocket of his trench coat. To replace his broken yo-yo, he said (yeah, I don't know either). Later in the dream, I tried to nurse the baby (because it had somehow morphed to normal size), but my boobs fell off. (Sorry... that might have been TMI, but in retrospect, it was pretty funny).
Work is crazy right now, as I'm trying to get a ton of stuff done before I go out on leave, which could be any day, but will probably be in like, two weeks or so. That level of uncertainty is a little unsettling for everyone, and to make it worse the girl who was supposed to take over some of my bigger day-to-day duties... is stuck in China right now, because some lawyer somewhere forgot to fax some paper to someone, and the end result is she's waiting on a visa to come back. It may well be after I leave that she gets home, and some of the tasks will be difficult for her to do so far removed from the office. So yeah, there's some amount of panic. (Not on my part, though, since I'll be gone for the worst of it. Ha!). Plus, something in the server just broke, and the sys admin is AWOL, and no one else can fix it. So there's more panic, as I'm the link between our group and the sys admin, so we're hoping she gets back to me soon.
My parents are flying in on February 2 (yet another good reason not to have the baby late...) Which will be nice, as we'll get to visit, but crazy, as I'll be dealing with a newborn and house guests and even less sleep, and I might have to remove the flash from my mother's camera so she doesn't blind the poor kid. :-) Between now and then, I have to figure out whether my dad can negotiate the stairs or if he and mom will need to sleep downstairs, if downstairs, where the mattress will fit, and how to keep the animals off of it.
News, and New Years First off, news. I'm still pregnant. For some reason, about a half dozen people have felt the need to ask me if I've had the baby yet... and the answer is no. I still have, at least in theory, 3-4 more weeks. But. I'll let you know when I do.
The baby is doing good... Christmas Eve ultrasound showed the baby weighing in at around 6 pounds 10 ounces, which puts the projected final baby weight around 8.5 pounds. Which is awesome. So no plans for an early baby due to size at this point.
I was told, long long ago when I first was pregnant (seriously, it seems like years or something), that morning sickness can return in the third trimester. And I was like, oh whatever, I guess that would suck... but since I was never really super sick in the beginning, i didn't think about it much. Until this morning. When I've been thinking about it a lot. While trying to keep down my breakfast. So far, I'm winning, but the long and short of it is I feel like crap at the moment, and trying to find a position to sit/lay in that doesn't make me want to hurl, and yet still allows me to work on my computer (I'm working from home today, so computer access is important)... is challenging. Half of my brain thinks I should eat something more, to see if it calms my stomach down, and the other half doesn't want to see what frosted miniwheats look like two hours after you eat them.
Pleasant thought, I know. Brought to you by a grumpy pregnant woman. :-) Edit: apparently, clementines are my new cure for morning sickness. Who would have guessed?
So on to New Years. My goals for this year:
Lose weight. Actually, this one is a gimmie, since I'll be shedding 8.5 pounds of baby plus associated fluids and whatnot at the end of the month. But seriously, it would be nice to be back down to my pre-baby-after-Disney-Cruise weight by the end of the year. (at current count, that would put me losing about 50 pounds, but maybe a little more, since I'll probably gain another five or so before I can start losing any).
To eat healthier, and spend less money eating out. Although I realize that this will be difficult for the next two months, anything is better than nothing. Seriously.
To take advice and criticism better, especially in regards to parenting. Just because someone else does it differently does not make me a bad mommy (even if that someone else is my mom).
Not to change my standards just because the going gets tough. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for convenience. But if I say, "I want to eat healthier, and spend less money eating out", I can't cave and run to McDonald's every night for dinner becasue I''m tired and it's easier than cooking something at home (McDonald's could help this situation by not putting crack in their chicken nuggets, so I wouldn't be so addicted to them).
To be better about taking pictures. I'll have a lot this year with documenting, and pictures will be important. :-)
To be better at blogging/journaling in some form. So I don't forget everything.
I'm sure there are more, but this'll do for now. :-)
It's a long wait for the turning clock Another seven quick takes (I'm totally not original ATM. sorry?). And also, (for those of you who don't like that sort of thing) sorry for the fact that it's mostly baby news - seriously, it's the all consuming thing in my life right now, so if it weren't for that I wouldn't have any blog fodder.
I am ready for Christmas. I have all my shopping done, all the gifts to my family mailed, and the last of the non-family gifts get mailed today (they will be a little late... sorry). I have everything wrapped, and expect for a couple of small stocking things, I'm not waiting on any more packages. Yay!
My boss organized a surprise baby shower for me this week, which was awesome. Now I have more baby stuff, including some stuff to decorate the nursery. Yay!
That same day, I got a huge box of baby stuff from William and Kim. Because they are awesome. Now I'm goign to spend Christmas week trying to organize this stuff, so I can find it all when I need it.
Went to the baby doctor yesterday, and it looks like the baby is already starting to drop. Which doesn't mean that it will come early, but means that things are moving in the right direction at least. We go in for an ultrasound on Christmas Eve, to get an idea of the baby's size and position. Yay! If the baby is big, we have to figure out the best course of action (induce early? c-section? tough it out?), and if the baby isn't big, I have to figure out why I've gained 50 pounds, and what I'm going to do with the extra weight when I'm no longer pregnant, lol.
I started this pregnancy with the greatest ideals... no induction unless there's a serious medical reason, no c-section except for the same, and I absolutely would not have them induce me early unless it was a life-or-death thing. Somewhere along the way, though... I got tired. And now I'm like... "OMG, big baby? Sure, induce. Tomorrow would be awesome. Unless you can do it today. Do you think cutting the kid out of me would be better?" Not that I think it will come to that... but I'm just tired. I'm tired of being tired all the time, and of not being able to tie my own shoes, or walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing, or get up from a chair without doing some weird back bend thing to rearrange my center of gravity. And I want to eat a rare steak. And some sushi. But it'll be like, a seriously long time before I can do either - maybe for Christmas next year or something. Blah.
I go to Babies R Us this weekend to get the last big piece of baby furniture (I have good coupons, yay!) - this one's a dresser / changing table. And I'll put off buying everything else until after my shower at church on the 4th :-)
My family, and possibly Chad's family, will be in in early February, which will be nice (but also interesting, as they may be here at the same time, and there could be interesting family dynamics there). And yeah, I'm a little nervous about my mother's parenting style clashing with mine, and the same for my mother-in-law. Hopefully, I'll make it through the visit without being told that I'm doing it wrong (in my head, this is said lolcat style: UR DOIN IT WRONG!). We shall see.
Head over to Conversion Diary if you want to read more seven bullet updates from random people, lol.
We now have baby furniture, which is awesome. Chad's parents brought in his old stuff, and I'm very excited about it. Now there's just a few more pieces to buy.
The nursery is painted. Chad and his dad did it. And it looks really nice. And was a great thing for them to do on a rainy day. Except...
The all day rain + cold temps + wind brought out our Ike problems (that they swore were not problems). Now all our back windows leak (we have 11, seriously). Including the one in the nursery, which nicely streaked the brand new paint. So we're dealing with the insurance again, and hopefully they'll be as awesome this time around as they were last time.
I have a serious craving for Reddi-Whip and Kool-ade. Together. Which is disgusting, and I refuse to eat it. But having the two separately isn't fixing it. Maybe Jello and Reddi-Whip would be less disgusting and still satisfy me? Who knows.
There is a very very small possibility that I will see a couple of snowflakes t some point tonight. Chad is skeptical, but I'm a believer :-)
Everything (with the exception of the windows) is still going well. I'm good (except for some sinus trouble that's annoying), the baby's good, everything (besides the aforementioned windows) is good. Which is awesome.
7 Quick Takes Friday Conversion Diary is hosting a thingy called 7 quick takes on Fridays, and I'm thinking it might help me post more news (which you are all dying to hear). And it's only one more than my typical 6 point posts, so how bad can it be, right? :-)
I'm still pregnant, and I'm currently about the size of a barn. The kind you keep horses, hay, and tractors in. Seriously. But. I can still drive my car without squishing my belly (yay for having all my height in my legs!). And even though I whine a lot and complain about my back hurting and how huge I am and how annoying it is to not be able to see/reach my feet... being pregnant is awesome. It's probably the single most positive religious experience I've ever had. I have been in awe of the entire process since I found out I was pregnant. I honestly don't know how people can feel a child moving and growing inside them, and not believe in God. And I wish I wrote a little more eloquently, so that I could truly explain it... but I can't.
I have finished Christmas shopping for my family, with a few tiny exceptions, and have actually gotten a good number of things wrapped. Crazy, eh? Christmas shopping for Chad's family has, however, barely started. But it'll have to be done soon, since we have to ship everything home. Fun stuff.
I purchased and read The Tales of Beedle the Bard yesterday. It was good, and made me laugh out loud a couple of times. I learned a few interesting trivia things about Dumbledore and Hogwarts in general, but not as much as I had hoped. But still, it was enjoyable - now when will she release another?
I love reading Mommy blogs. I have a whole list of them in my reader, and I find it really interesting to see how different families operate and deal with everyday stresses and drama. And sometimes, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.
Because people come here for baby news: my belly is measuring a week ahead this week, which either means the baby will be big, or means nothing, lol. I'll know more in two weeks, and they'll do an ultrasound after Christmas to get a better idea of size and stuff. But for now, it looks like we're still looking at the baby arriving the last week in January.
Which is good, as we really don't have much done yet in the way of nursery preparations. With only 7ish weeks to go (or 6 or 5 or 8, depending) - I'm guessing we should probably get on that. *sigh*. Honestly, I get a little stressed about it every now and then, but for the most part it hasn't hit me yet that it's happening so soon. On the other hand, I'm starting to really get uncomfortably huge, so soon is sounding better and better. :-) Worst case, Chad'll be painting over Christmas week.
PhotoShop Elements is t3h awesome. My new favorite photo editing tool. Seriously. I played with it a lot over the weekend Chad was in Seattle, and I'm looking forward to having more pictures to edit and more projects to work on, with baby stuff - but, at the same time, I realize I'll have less time to work on stuff like that. Sad, no?
For more quick takes, head over to Conversion Diary. Actually, even if you don't want to read more quick takes, you should head over there anyway. :-) Although I'm not Catholic, I find her writing to be inspiring - and it makes me look at how I relate to God and to my family.
I can't find the words to pray / I'm a little down today So I've been really quiet, which is typical - and yet not typical. There has been a lot going on, but long story short, I haven't had to words to explain anything, or the emotional capacity to think through everything enough to find the words. But I'm working on it now, so this will probably be a long long post... it's been a long time coming.
So. Being pregnant. It hasn't been that bad, although I've whined a lot about it to anyone who's gotten too close to me (mostly Chad, though, as I've kind of withdrawn a bit from the rest of the world). Everything is progressing well, the baby is growing great, and the doctor seems happy with all my tests for now. The two biggest problems have been my tiredness... I'm super tired all the time, and can't seem to get enough sleep no matter what. And my emotions. Which is part of why I've withdrawn a bit... when spilling french fries or breaking a nail makes me cry, I have little reserves left to deal with people. And their problems. Or even my own problems.
My dad had a stroke about a month ago. It took the doctors like, three days to figure it out, so by the time they got around to "fixing" it, it was pretty bad. He was in the hospital for more than a week, then went home with no feeling in his right hand, trouble walking, an inability to read at all, some mild confusion, and vision loss on his right side. And a pretty serious case of depression. After a couple of weeks at home, and starting physical therapy, and improving a little... he had another stroke. This one has left him much more confused... I've talked to him a half dozen times in the last week, and every time he asks me at least twice when the baby is due. He's not always sure why he's in the hospital, or even where he is. They moved him from the regular hospital (where he's been for a week) to the rehab hospital late last week, and they're working him pretty hard there. It doesn't look like he'll be going back to work. Mom's holding up pretty well, but she's really starting to wear thin. She's trying to decide whether to switch jobs to make a little more money and keep better insurance, or to keep her current job (which she's only marginally happy with). Since she's the sole breadwinner for the time being, at least, she feels like she's under a lot of pressure.
This has caused me a great amount of stress aver the last month, as I'm not exactly in a position to drop everything and run to Huntsville to help out, and not in an emotional state to really be much help even if I went. Practically speaking, I have 6 days of vacation left for the year. To match Chad's time off at Christmas, even though we aren't traveling, I'll need five of those. That leaves one lonely vacation day. Chad and I have talked about going home over a weekend... driving in to Huntsville on Friday, picking up a U-Haul trailer to hold stuff we need to bring back, and coming back through Memphis - arriving home Monday, having spent about 24 hours with each set of parents, and about 30 hours on the road. This, you might have noticed, takes two vacation days, which puts me short at Christmas, which I think at this point is inevitable. Add to this the complication that there's a wedding in Huntsville in early November that I'm kind of expected to attend (except it's not really a wedding, I suppose, but that's another story). Plus, the longer we wait, the more uncomfortable I'll be traveling. And thus the more whining Chad will have to endure on the drive.
So the long and short of this becomes... when do I go home? Later, to meet family obligations to attend a wedding, and when my dad might be a little better (if he doesn't get worse)? Or earlier, when I can (possibly) be more help, and will be more comfortable, but will miss the other family events?
Blah. To complicate this even more, I'm not sure my folks will be here for Thanksgiving, as I'm not sure they'll have the money to travel, or that Dad will be well enough to travel. And since I can't go home at all in December or January, that was supposed to be Christmas for us. And I don't know if my mom will be able to come out for as long as she was planning to in February to help with/see the baby. And Chad's parents haven't made any plans to come visit us before the end of the year, or after the baby comes (they will, I'm sure, but no plans yet). So me going home is my big chance to visit, until I'm able to travel with the baby, which will be like, the middle or end of March, at best.
So yeah, words have failed me lately. Life, it seems, goes on day by day, regardless of everything else. And day to day, life isn't all that bad. It when you lump all the days together that it starts to get overwhelming, I guess.
My beloved monster and me... Consider this an annoucement (although at this point, I think everyone who reads this knows). That's me, exactly 14 weeks pregant (last Sunday). I'll post a link to my "baby blog" when I feel like making it public. We're very excited :-)
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
