Cause perfect only makes you crazy / There is no way that it can save me
By an interesting set of happenstances, it looks as thought I may have a great deal of free time this weekend. (Assuming you can count any time spent baby wrangling as "free time", anyway). My goals: Not to watch too much TV, to actually accomplish something, and possibly several somethings. More to prove I *can* than anything else. We'll see how that actually works out.
Brianna's doing fine, still fat and happy and we finally got rid of the ear infections. Yay! She's sitting very well now, and trying to pull herself up to a sitting position from laying down (she still needs some help). She loves her solid food, and has been eating like a champ (even prunes!). But not sleeping. Combinations of snuggling her lovey and being swung on the porch swing usually get her to go to sleep... but staying asleep is another story - we've been up 4-5 times several nights, and it sucks (for me anyway). So yeah. Might impact the "getting stuff done" goals of this weekend.
More geek humor, because that's the kind of girl I am.
It seems I spend a lot of time these days asking myself questions - and typically ones that don't have good answers (and mostly parenting related these days). Stuff like, Am I doing this *right*? Do I feed her enough? Too much? Do they feed her too much at daycare? Why am I so behind? Should we be doing more educational activities, whatever that means? Should she still be using a paci? Should she be using a sippy cup? Am I ruining her teeth by letting her nurse to sleep at night? Why are we not sleepign through the night? Will I ever have time to read The No Cry Sleep Solution, to try to solve this? Do we want more kids? When? Should I get a new ob/gyn? When am I going to make it to the dentist? When do I need to take the baby to the dentist? ... ... ... Most of these questions occur to me at like, 4am. Not conducive to great problem solving. But, I guess it all goes with the territory.
I joined a scrapbooking group, which has been fun. they meet a couple times a month to work on pages and socialize and stuff, so I went last weekend and had a great time (even if I only got one page done). It's odd to get out and be social again - I'm kind of out of my comfort zone, but that might be a good thing.
Also went to the local La Leche League meeting - again more being social. They were really nice, not the crazy-breastfeeding-nazi people that I half expected, lol. Lots of good information, and good discussion with other mommies. Still haven't solved my supply problem, but at least I know I'm not alone. And I'm getting out! And talking to people! So I feel a little less isolated.
And I have more socialness this weekend - there's a Women's Tea at church for the new preacher's wife, and I signed up to help, and to bring finger sammiches (which means Sunday morning will be more crazier than usual, lol). Slowly, I'm getting the hang of this whole non-hermit thing. It was so much easier in college... there, you had to work to be a hermit. In the real world, you have to work *not* to be. So Yeah. I'm working on it :-)
Brianna's sitting! well, sort of, anyway - she sits on very stable surfaces (like the floor, not the couch or a mattress - if you put her hands down to help prop her up. But still, it makes me happy. And also scared - here comes the crawl (otherwise known as the ability to get into everything in site!).
Today was the first day I got dressed for work, looked in the mirror, and actually felt like I was looking at me, not my head put on someone else's body. So there's at least light at the end of the tunnel for my post-pregnancy body image issues. In a related note, I may quite possibly buy an entire work wardrobe of crimson and black.
Speaking of post-pregnancy body woes... My feet are bigger. Like, at least a half a size. Enough that most of my shoes are uncomfortable, and some of them I can't even get on at all. Someone warned me this would happen, but I don't think I believed them. Anyone interested in a closet full of shoes?
I hate it when people butt into my parenting and inform me that I'm doing it wrong. For instance, the whole breastfeeding thing. I would never. Never. Never tell a mom that was using formula that she's not doing it right, that she's somehow hurting her child by not breastfeeding. There are so many reasons why it might not work for that person at that time - and in the end, it's totally a personal decision. My decision was to breastfeed, as long as possible. This isn't always easy. My doctor agrees it's the best choice for my situation, and as long as I can do it... keep on it! But the daycare people (or rather, one of them) have been going on from day 1 about how Brianna likes formula better (we supplement as needed), or her bowels would be more regular if she were on formula all the time, or she'd sleep better, or whatever. I was even told that some infants can't take breastmilk, that it's not healthy for them. I call BS. My choice. As long as she's gaining weight, and her doctor is happy, and she's happy - we'll keep doing it. People just need to butt the hell out, seriously. Ok, so that turned into a rant. Sorry. But it was on my mind.
Going to see a nutritionist in a couple of weeks, to hopefully get a diet that helps my supply levels, energy levels, overall health - and if I could lose weight and beat Chad, that would be awesome :-) I hope this will help... I'm at my wits end trying to figure out how to lose weight and maintain a milk supply. The weight has to come off (it's not just vanity - my knees and back hurt, I'm exhausted all the time, and I need to be healthy again. Being 40+ pounds overweight isn't conducive to being healthy).
Chad's still winning the biggest loser. I lost 0.2 pounds last week. Yep, you see that right - two-tenths of a pound. Total weight loss: still less than 2 pounds. I need to catch Chad, and win, so that I can spend a ridiculous amount of money on total vanity and silliness. Maybe the nutritionist will help. Or maybe I should just fill the house with Oreos, lol.
It's hot as blazes here, in case you wondered. Like, over-100-hot before you figure in the heat index. Don't get me wrong, I hate cold... but this is unseasonably early to be this hot. It's record-breaking hot, and it's killing me. But at least I have AC in both my car and my house - we love AC. And couldn't live without it.
You just stick the right formula in / A solution for every fool
Corporate America & our fine legal system are so awesome. Came across this gem this week:
It is my understanding that we agreed to include the text [...] However, it was not in the terms that the text be legible. It was under the advice of our counsel that we made the text very small and difficult to read.
You have to love it. Or something.
Being a relatively new Smart phone user, I appreciate this. I wish everyone thought that way, really. For example - it may take me a week to get to respond to a personal email. That's just the way it is. I try, but, it happens that way anyway. Sorry?
I thought this was funny. And of course, the follow up here. Just thought I'd share :-)
I love this post from One Thing. I've been thinking about it a lot this week... it sums up a lot of the way I've felt lately. Here's a quote:
But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. [...] I want to be real. I don’t want to demand careful handling. I want those sharp edges to be worn off by that Love that isn’t afraid to be hurt. Can I stop being afraid of breaking long enough to let that happen?
I wish I could say things as clearly and concisely as she did.
I hate feeling like I suck at life. And I feel that way a lot. I hear that parenting small children has that affect on people. I feel like I'm kind of wandering through life, blundering my way along, hoping that I don't get anything too terribly wrong in the process. There has to be a better way?
I thought this was funny. Celebrity ghost twittering, indeed. And more Twitter-ness, on a slightly more serious level.
If anyone has any tips for how to stay healthy (and keep Brianna healthy!) - without just boarding ourselves up in the house and never leaving - I'm all ears. Chad, Brianna, and I have been sick, one thing and another, for like a month. I'd like to be healthy again, please?
Rolled in late about an hour / No cup of coffee, no shower
Brianna is now 4 months old. This is amazing to me... Where did the time go? She's happy and healthy (except a cold that we've been fighting), and learning new things every day. She's teething (yay!) and eating solid food (baby oatmeal and Gerber 1st foods veggies and fruits). Her favorite food, to date, is probably Sweet Potatoes. And just today, she moved from just using vowel noises, to using the "b" sound... so now she sounds like "bub-bub-bub-bub" - which is funny. She even does it with her paci in her mouth, which is even funnier.
Moms don't get sick days. I don't think I fully groked that concept until this past week. But we survived :-) With lots of help from Chad.
I am badly in need of a routine. And a few extra hours in the day. But if anyone has any great advice for morning or evening routines to make sure that baby and I are both fed, bathed, and get to sleep/work/daycare on time, that would be awesome. If the house could be kept clean in the process, that would be better. Maybe I'll try to FlyLady system again...
Chad and I are doing a Biggest Loser challenge. We started June 1st, and we're runnign until Oct. 1st - hopefully I'll drop this baby weight. So expect some updates here, as maybe it will keep me motivated (we put a large amount of money on the line, so you would think THAT would keep me motivated, but I can probably use all the help I can get). Hopefully, but October, I'll fit in a clothes size that only has one number. Or at least one that I can buy at Ann Taylor without ordering online.
As part of the losing weight thing, I've started working out at the Y. They have free childcare, and lots of workout classes, so it's seeming to work out ok (except it takes even more time out of my day). I've gone to two Yoga classes so far... and OOWW. I mean. I *knew* that when Brianna was born, they cut my abs apart and stapled them back together... but I didn't really think about it until I started trying to do these yoga moves, and i went to use my ab muscles... and they weren't there! I mean, they were gone! So I have a lot of work to do to get back to my pre-pregnancy hotness (pre-pre-pregnancy, I guess). Or something. Meanwhile, I'm just sore. But there's a Zumba class tomorrow, so maybe that will help (lol).
I joined Twitter. Sadly, I joined only because I found a cool app for it on my phone and I wanted to use it. But now I'm addicted. Although my tweeting waxes and wanes as I have time/interest (like my blogging!).
Chad and I are trying to convince some people to move out here. What else is new? But this time, it might work? Really, though, with our luck, everyone will come at once, and we'll be stacking friends on top of each other when they stay with us while looking for a place of their own :-) Actually... thinking about it, that would be awesome. So. Yeah. Please move here? We need more people from back home. :-)
It's a long wait for the turning clock Another seven quick takes (I'm totally not original ATM. sorry?). And also, (for those of you who don't like that sort of thing) sorry for the fact that it's mostly baby news - seriously, it's the all consuming thing in my life right now, so if it weren't for that I wouldn't have any blog fodder.
I am ready for Christmas. I have all my shopping done, all the gifts to my family mailed, and the last of the non-family gifts get mailed today (they will be a little late... sorry). I have everything wrapped, and expect for a couple of small stocking things, I'm not waiting on any more packages. Yay!
My boss organized a surprise baby shower for me this week, which was awesome. Now I have more baby stuff, including some stuff to decorate the nursery. Yay!
That same day, I got a huge box of baby stuff from William and Kim. Because they are awesome. Now I'm goign to spend Christmas week trying to organize this stuff, so I can find it all when I need it.
Went to the baby doctor yesterday, and it looks like the baby is already starting to drop. Which doesn't mean that it will come early, but means that things are moving in the right direction at least. We go in for an ultrasound on Christmas Eve, to get an idea of the baby's size and position. Yay! If the baby is big, we have to figure out the best course of action (induce early? c-section? tough it out?), and if the baby isn't big, I have to figure out why I've gained 50 pounds, and what I'm going to do with the extra weight when I'm no longer pregnant, lol.
I started this pregnancy with the greatest ideals... no induction unless there's a serious medical reason, no c-section except for the same, and I absolutely would not have them induce me early unless it was a life-or-death thing. Somewhere along the way, though... I got tired. And now I'm like... "OMG, big baby? Sure, induce. Tomorrow would be awesome. Unless you can do it today. Do you think cutting the kid out of me would be better?" Not that I think it will come to that... but I'm just tired. I'm tired of being tired all the time, and of not being able to tie my own shoes, or walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing, or get up from a chair without doing some weird back bend thing to rearrange my center of gravity. And I want to eat a rare steak. And some sushi. But it'll be like, a seriously long time before I can do either - maybe for Christmas next year or something. Blah.
I go to Babies R Us this weekend to get the last big piece of baby furniture (I have good coupons, yay!) - this one's a dresser / changing table. And I'll put off buying everything else until after my shower at church on the 4th :-)
My family, and possibly Chad's family, will be in in early February, which will be nice (but also interesting, as they may be here at the same time, and there could be interesting family dynamics there). And yeah, I'm a little nervous about my mother's parenting style clashing with mine, and the same for my mother-in-law. Hopefully, I'll make it through the visit without being told that I'm doing it wrong (in my head, this is said lolcat style: UR DOIN IT WRONG!). We shall see.
Head over to Conversion Diary if you want to read more seven bullet updates from random people, lol.
7 Quick Takes Friday Conversion Diary is hosting a thingy called 7 quick takes on Fridays, and I'm thinking it might help me post more news (which you are all dying to hear). And it's only one more than my typical 6 point posts, so how bad can it be, right? :-)
I'm still pregnant, and I'm currently about the size of a barn. The kind you keep horses, hay, and tractors in. Seriously. But. I can still drive my car without squishing my belly (yay for having all my height in my legs!). And even though I whine a lot and complain about my back hurting and how huge I am and how annoying it is to not be able to see/reach my feet... being pregnant is awesome. It's probably the single most positive religious experience I've ever had. I have been in awe of the entire process since I found out I was pregnant. I honestly don't know how people can feel a child moving and growing inside them, and not believe in God. And I wish I wrote a little more eloquently, so that I could truly explain it... but I can't.
I have finished Christmas shopping for my family, with a few tiny exceptions, and have actually gotten a good number of things wrapped. Crazy, eh? Christmas shopping for Chad's family has, however, barely started. But it'll have to be done soon, since we have to ship everything home. Fun stuff.
I purchased and read The Tales of Beedle the Bard yesterday. It was good, and made me laugh out loud a couple of times. I learned a few interesting trivia things about Dumbledore and Hogwarts in general, but not as much as I had hoped. But still, it was enjoyable - now when will she release another?
I love reading Mommy blogs. I have a whole list of them in my reader, and I find it really interesting to see how different families operate and deal with everyday stresses and drama. And sometimes, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.
Because people come here for baby news: my belly is measuring a week ahead this week, which either means the baby will be big, or means nothing, lol. I'll know more in two weeks, and they'll do an ultrasound after Christmas to get a better idea of size and stuff. But for now, it looks like we're still looking at the baby arriving the last week in January.
Which is good, as we really don't have much done yet in the way of nursery preparations. With only 7ish weeks to go (or 6 or 5 or 8, depending) - I'm guessing we should probably get on that. *sigh*. Honestly, I get a little stressed about it every now and then, but for the most part it hasn't hit me yet that it's happening so soon. On the other hand, I'm starting to really get uncomfortably huge, so soon is sounding better and better. :-) Worst case, Chad'll be painting over Christmas week.
PhotoShop Elements is t3h awesome. My new favorite photo editing tool. Seriously. I played with it a lot over the weekend Chad was in Seattle, and I'm looking forward to having more pictures to edit and more projects to work on, with baby stuff - but, at the same time, I realize I'll have less time to work on stuff like that. Sad, no?
For more quick takes, head over to Conversion Diary. Actually, even if you don't want to read more quick takes, you should head over there anyway. :-) Although I'm not Catholic, I find her writing to be inspiring - and it makes me look at how I relate to God and to my family.
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
