“You get used to it. Or you suffer a psychotic episode.” This. Actually, that sums up just about exactly where I am. Except maybe - just maybe, I'm a little closer to the psychotic episode than I would care to admit.
I'm joking. A little.
So this week. This week has been hard. Chad's working nights, flight-following for his crew, I've been sick, plus I'm still exhausted from being pregnant (um. Consider this a blog announcement, I guess. I'm too tired to do it up right. we're due August 17th.), plus Brianna's going through her second (third?) section of separation anxiety... and yeah. Crazy stuff abounds. I send a fiery email to my MMO group about having no life and them wanting every second of what I have. True story. I felt a little bad afterward.
But... we are surviving. And. We are making progress.
So. I'm going to play "Not Me! Monday." Here goes:
I did not let Brianna sleep in the swing in my room pretty much all night several nights in a row because it was easier than fighting with her to stay asleep in her room by herself. Also, on Saturday night when I decided she needed to stay in her room to sleep - all night, it was not because the swing batteries were dead, and I couldn't find a screwdriver. I did not sleep in her room on the floor for over an hour, to make sure she was really asleep. And last night, I most certainly did not give in and take cold medicine, which I knew would cause me to be too drugged up to find my way out of the bed when she woke up, and I did not let her cry it out in the middle of the night because of the aforementioned lack of direction out of the bed.
In unrelated news, I had an awesome Valentine's yesterday, in spite of the fact that we had no babysitter, and Chad had to work all night (and the night before). If you have (a ton) of money to spend on dinner at some point, I highly recommend Killen's in Pearland. Don't be fooled by the outside - it's a really nice steakhouse, not a honky tonk, lol. And it was good. And Brianna behaved, so all was well.
And laid out like cash your take on my list of shortcomings This. Again, I wish I had the words to say it this well.
"I wake up each morning telling myself that today I’ll make it a better day, today I’ll do better. And then the sun rises in the sky."
I am the queen of (short-lived, sidetracked by 9am) good intentions. Every day, I decide that:
Today I will get up on time, so I have time to get everything done and eat breakfast without getting stressed or mad or being late to work.
Today I'll eat a healthy breakfast, not whatever I grab going out the door.
Today I'll pack my lunch and not spend extra money buying a most likely unhealthy lunch from the cafe.
Today I'll be a better wife/mother/friend/person in general.
Today I'll resist the urge to eat junk food.
Today I'll remember how much my husband helps me, and I won't yell at him when I'm frustrated because I have too much to do.
Today I'll call/email/facebook that person I haven't talked to in forever.
Today I'll be organized and on top of things.
And pretty much every day, I've blown most of these before I get out the door in the morning... and probably all of them before I go to bed. I whine about not having a system, and worry that I'm failing at life somehow. I often spend so much time concentrating on how I've failed... that I don't concentrate on how to get better... how to pick myself up and start over fresh (day after day, if needed).
"Daily, my good intentions fail, but His compassions for me don’t. And therein lies my hope."
Today I'll try to do better at doing better. And at not concentrating on the failures, but on the successes. And I'll keep moving forward - His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. [Lam. 3:22-23]
WTF? moment of the week. This was an actual conversation I had at the pharmacy yesterday. Pharmacist: This is an antibiotic. You need to be careful while taking it, as it will cause your birth control to be less effective. Me: ::laughs:: I'm not worried. Pharmacist: Seriously, antibiotics will interact with birth control. Me: Seriously. I think I'll be ok.
I mean, this guy was looking at me (as I was standing there, much larger than life) the whole time. And did not seem to be joking. Which makes me wonder... exactly how much beer did this guy think I drank? 'Cause my belly is huge. and I wasn't trying to hide it.
Hey girl it's me I just called to tell you hi We have 9 teachers that teach regularly. There are 9 levels of hell. We're in the river Phlegethon at the moment. ~Mandie, about one of her classes
Um... when did my siblings get old enough (educated enough?) to randomly (yet meaningfully) throw obscure culture references into conversation? It's funny. Yet I feel old. *sigh*
Quotes Quotes I came across: And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin, Danish diarist
There is no difference between living and learning...it is impossible and misleading and harmful to think of them as being separate. ~ John Holt, author
Live in hill top mansions / driving sixteen cars In case you wondered, Rock Band is awesome. I'm so gonna sneak down to the living room and play while Chad's asleep. And I'm gonna play as the singer. And no one will be there to laugh at me. Ha.
So we now have an XBox 360. So someday (when I get it), I'll be able to play Beautiful Katamari. And that makes me happy.
And the quote of the day: You can't squeegie a gorilla!
Quote of the Day: (from a daily thought e-mail I get) When you re-read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before. ~ Clifton Fadiman
Spoilers and such... Harry Potter 7: They All Die In The End, And It Turns Out Voldemort Was His Mum
This was the headline on a story in one of my feeds... which I thought was really funny.
I read the book, and loved it, I'll read it again soon... but I can't say much about it :-) I'll be glad to discuss it over e-mail, if you like. I was happy, though, that one of my more obscure predictions was dead on, though.
Bridge to Terabithia I finally watched it. It is an awesome movie. Almost as good as the book, and made me cry every bit as hard. Not sure Chad really enjoyed it though...
But yeah. Five stars. I really liked the girl they got to play Leslie. And it had the girl from Hitchhiker's Guide, too.
Scary, no? Voice or no voice, the people can alway be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country. ~Hermann Goering
Quote of the Day: From this article: The whole thing is the visual equivalent of a moronic clip-art jumble sale poster designed in the dark by a myopic divorcee experiencing a freak biorhythmic high. ~ Charlie Brooker on poor interface design
Tiny tiny kitties :-) So Chad and I spent some time looking at tiny tiny kitties online yesterday... I am thinking about aquiring another one. Chad's mom, interestingly enough, is thinking about sending me one (or 5) of hers... but none of them are tiny tiny.
However, I pointed Chad to this (nsfw!) comic, and he said now he won't buy me a kitty for my birthday. ;-) (interesting side note, that strip is actually one of my favorite interactions between those two characters... I miss Queen of Wands).
Today is going to rock. I have decreed it. Plus, I just finished my homework, so as soon as I'm done giving make-up tests and goign to class and stuff... I'm done for the day. Chad will be home early, to help me confront the exterminators that are failing at exterminating... and then we can like, go to dinner or something fun. Also, I got to look at my new pretty daisies that I planted in the front yard this morning, and they made me happy. I like daisies.
I decided the birthday crown thing wouldn't work so well here at rice... *sigh* So I'm wearing my Jessica Rabbit shirt instead. I'll probably dress up to go out tonight (just because I can, and because I fit into a bunch of cute dresses and stuff I couldn't wear last year)... we shall see.
anyway. I suppose I'm going to find something to so for the next however long I'm giving make-up exams (hour, maybe?)... meanwhile... place this quote: Daisies are the friendliest flowers.
"I like hats... no wait, that wasn't it." I so need this hat. Seriously. With a hat like that, and a pinstripe suit... I would be a fox. (or a pimp, if I got some platform shoes and a cane and stuck a feather in the hat). Ha.
You say that like it's a bad thing... Quote of the day (in a very outraged voice): GoDaddy seems to be intent on being the "Hooters" of domain registry.
[I]t unfolded about the way I expected: two teams roughly evenly matched in their incompetence; one winning in the end only because at some point the game had to end and one of them had to win.
To be honest, I had planned on tracking the game through the intarweb (since watching wasn't going to be possible)... but long story short, I didn't. Between Christmas shopping, Chad coming home from roleplaying, and my knowledge that both teams were going to suck... yeah. It didn't happen. Which means, sadly enough, I didn't watch a single State game all year. Which is actually kinda depressing, but not as depressing as the fact that we haven't won more than 3 games in a season in the last 6 years.
Don't get me wrong, I still bleed maroon and white. And given the chance to go to a live game, I'll go no matter how bad I know we'll suck. :-) But it would be nice, at some point, to have a tiny bit of the crazyness (and winningness!) that we had my freshman year... Maybe next year?
ps... yeah, I know the pic is broken, I have no idea why. I'll fix it, as soon as I figure it out.
Another Stats Quote: You could assign people to multiple gender conditions, but it would be expensive. And potentially difficult to get IRB approval for.
Isn't it Ironic? Wrote a semi-interesting paper theorizing about how people process ironic communication... that is, I thought the topic was interesting. The paper is... well, a page and a half of crap, basically. So yeah. This means I have no idea what my grade will be. When I write what I think is interesting, I get low grades. When I turn in papers that are crap, I get high grades. Go figure.
That's not ironic... that just a bunch of fucked up shit that happens to people. ~William (I think?)
Finished the taxes, minus Chad's signature on the state ones. That was a hassle... note to self: never change states of residency and get married in the same year, it makes taxes way harder than they need to be.
Quote of the day: Melephone? What is that? It's like a big brass thing you can make a bong out of. Woah, that's so awesome! --Overheard at Wesley
This quote, from this article on a recent muder charge in Pennsylvania, has to be one of the stupidest things I've heard anyone say in a long time. Maybe not the stupidest, though...
"I mean, you have many, many stab wounds and those 'Dungeons and Dragons' fantasy games involve swords and knives and daggers and things of that nature. There may be a connection but I can’t say for sure."
Proof to the point, I guess, that guns don't kill people. Gamers kill people. (although I think the point was originally meant to apply to video gamers... we're all cut from the same cloth).
Blah. Getting somewhat better... I probabaly won't die. Not doing great though... everything wears me out. I'm actually fixing to take a nap. Yay. But first... before I forget them...
Quote of the day (yesterday):
I grab my war mace and head toward the tent. If they were worried, it must have been some big fucking rats.
Quote of the day (today):
So if you found yourself, what exactly would you do with you?
You wouldn't have to use them, you could just have them walking around and stuff. I mean, everybody loves zombies. It's the end of the world, goddammit!
-Sam
Hardware is the computer itself, its keyboard, casing, microchips, switches - rusting, dusty, fallible, and mortal. Software is the thousands of lines of written code that allow the computer to do incredible things at a high speed, and that never breaks down - invisible and immortal. Hardware and software; Mensch and Ubermensch.
~Fatal dose, by Barbara Wade Ross. Saturday Night, Jun94.
I've always thought that if there is ever an international project to send men to Mars, the U.S. will build the rocket, the British will produce the engine, and the French will contribute a sugar bowl that opens when you remove the spoon from the slot attached to it.
~Calvin Trillian, "The Accidental Luddite" Time Magazine, 10/20/97.
Ah. My new and interesting blogger interface was simply due to platform differences. Apparently blog for Mac is much differnt than blog for WinXP. Go figure.
Anyway... fun and exciting aside... apparently, my butt is recognizable and identifiable as belonging to me at 100 yards. By other females. Interesting. I haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to use this information, but I'm sure it will come to me. *eVil grin*
I'm trying to get lots of work done, while still "taking it easy", and managing to go home for the weekend.... [FYI: I'll be going home sometime on Saturday, I think, and returning Tuesday morning, if all goes well]
Anyway...
Quote of the day:
Programs don't have morals... they aren't considerate of other programs needs for processor or I/O time...
-- Dr. Baca
Interesting. Blogger looks much different than it did this morning... maybe it's cause I'm on a mac. but I doubt it. I think they changed something and didn't tell me. hmph.
Anyway. So.... About life since the blog went down.
I am still not entirely well... but, as of yet, the docotrs aren't going to do anything about it. I go see the surgeon on the 8th (Monday), but he probably won't do anything either. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to think good thoughts and concentrate on getting better, all while maintaining a decent gpa and getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Ha. Ha. Ha.
So I'm doing ok grade wise this semester... I'm a little behind, but catching up fast... I haven't missed a due date for anything yet *knocks on desk* And I got 100 on both my first quiz of the year, and my first programming assignment (the Python one)... which makes me very happy.
Having Chad in town is really nice... not that we see that much more of each other :-) His work schedule and my class schedule are at odds at the moment... but it's all good. It's interesting adjusting to having him back...
Dad is doing his last (we hope) round of chemo this week... we'll know by the end of this week or next week whether its working, and what they want to do next.
Underworld comes out in a couple weeks... I'm psyched about that :-) Chad's happy because there's a movie I actually want to go see... I'm happy becase it's all about vampires and stuff... everybody's happy.
I think I'm going on an interesting outing this weekend... minus Chad, who will prolly go home to Memphis. I also have to go home sometime this weekend (like, saturday or Sunday) so I'm home for my appt. on Monday. This will also entail missing all of my classes Monday... but may allow me to vote in Tuesday's election, like, not by absentee. That would be fun. Unless they decide to cut me open or something, I should be back for class on Tuesday (I don't have class until 11)... which is good, because Dr. Clifford will hate me forever if I miss class. And we don't want our teachers to hate us.
anyway.... I must run and do homework. Some more. For like, forever. Or at least until 7 or so... then I get to go to Wesley. And after Wesley.... more homework. Yay.
Dude... I have missed so many good quotes by not having my blog up. you have no idea. *sigh* I'll have to see if I can catch up. Today's quote:
I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in hell.
Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguincharging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had.
-- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0
As soon as we started programming, we found out to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.
--Maurice Wilkes
"There comes a time when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it, or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors."
-- Londo Mollari, Babylon 5: "Chrysalis"
If computers still can't figure out that those penis enlargement e-mails in their inboxes are spam, how can they possibly assess the merits of a book report on The Sun Also Rises?
~The Write-Stuff Software
Quote from an article online:
Cabrol also said that currently prolonged space travel isn't the best thing for a person's system because of gravity. Such a trip would take at least half a year. It's feasible, but the astronaut would have to recover from the trip once they landed. Luckily, there appears to be some gravity on Mars.
"appears to be some gravity"? Silly me... I thought we had had probes or something land on Mars... I thought we *knew* whether there was gravity there or not, not made some wild guesses based on what *appears* to be true. But you know... I might be wrong.
oh yeah... almost forgot the quote for the week(end):
*said in best Winnie-the-Pooh voice* Tigger... I'm confused.
And I feel obliged to rant for a sec. See, I'm at the ly-berry. Printing stuff off. Do you know why I am at the ly-berry printing stuff off? Be cause I got tired of this dude bugging me through AIM to hook him up with a girl I don't even know... he was bugging me so much, I couldn't work there. I hate to disconnect, because people leave me messages there... So I'm oging somewhere else. I would post our convo, just so you could see just how annoying he was being... but I'm stuck here, with no desktop sharing... and therefore no access to my Trillian logs. *sigh* But I will summarize for you:
Him: Have you talked to K******* this week? Me: Umm... no. I've been doing other things. Like homework.
Him: You should call her for help with your homework. She is hot. Me: She's not in my major... she prolly doesn't even know how to speel UNIX, much less how to run it.
Him: so? Call her anyway. I'm sure she would love to hear from you. Me: I'm doing homework.
Him: you should call her for help. *two minute pause where I close window and ignore him*
Him: Have you called her yet? *two minute pause where I close window and ignore him*
Him: ?? *two minute pause where I close window and ignore him*
Him: ?? Me: No. I haven't. I. am. doing. homework.
Him: You should call her for help. She is very hot. I want her. *I put up away message and flee to ly-berry*
Quote from an article on FOXNews.com "There's nobody who works at NASA who isn't passionate about it... You work here because you love it, not because it's a paycheck."
Oh yeah... and to quote William (since his blog is password protected):
People that find jokes about what "NASA" really stands for to be funny, need to go somewhere.
and they can take the people that think we should go back to the apollo capsules with them.
I mean really... making jokes about NASA and the Columbia Disaster at this point is a little out of place... A lot out of place. Maybe in a couple of years, it would be less not-ok (it may never be ok)... but right now, when emotions are still raw? You cannot forget the fact that seven people died... seven people who had families... not nameless robots. People. Like me.
And Apollo capsules were not only less efficient, they were still dangerous. and they barely fit three people. And we threw them away after every mission. And started over. Go back to the dark ages where you belong.
No, I’m not dead… I’m home for break, which is close, I suppose. So here’s a rundown of what’s going on in my life:
Family wise, I guess everything is ok. My Granny is home from the hospital… but it looks like we’re going to have to hire someone to watch her… Aunt Dorinne can’t do it all the time, and Granny has no awareness of the fact that she can’t just get up and do things, like walk without a walker, or go downstairs. We’re still trying to figure out what we’re going to do for Christmas Eve at her house… I know we’re eating dinner, but I have a feeling it won’t be the 4-6 hours thing it usually is.
Personally… life is ok. I’m working, trying to juggle my work hours with my family life and Chad time (sounds suspiciously like the real world, huh?). Work is nice… I have a cushy government job, which means I’ve worked two and a half days this weeks so far, and two days of that were spent in meetings and Christmas parties. And now I’m blogging. Yay for me! Chad is coming to visit sometime Christmas day… not sure what time yet, but hopefully by 2 or so, to be in time for dinner. And Presents…. I got Chad the coolest thing… at least, I think it’s cool… I hope he does.
School… Well, school actually got a lot more interesting in the last few days. Weird, but interesting. So here’s how everything played out: I was really upset over this whole circuits thing… went to Nosser’s office, I bawled all over the place, nothing happened with my grade, he couldn’t do anything. So he calmed me down and reminded me that God is still in control… and told me to drop all my courses that depended on Circuits and sign up for half ECE and half CS courses for next semester. So I did. And I stressed a lot. But I looked more into CS, and learned what cool courses I can take if I go that route (AI, Computer Forensics, Software Engineering, stuff like that). I looked at taking 4+ semesters of straight hardware courses in a department that is known for failing students… or 3 semesters of programming courses in a department that is at least somewhat more cordial. And I decided that the CS route wouldn’t be that bad, I would enjoy it more, and I would get out on time.
Then I got a flood of e-mails from Hamaker saying that due to a misprint on the syllabus, I actually have a C in the course. Which means I could, with some schedule tweaking, still go engineering. But the question now becomes this: is the word engineer (it’s not even a title) worth 3+ semesters of hell in the ECE department, taking courses I don’t particularly like from professors that don’t want to be there? What does it mean to be and “engineer” as opposed to a “scientist”? Am I copping out by taking the CS route?
My life is suddenly more complicated. I hate complicated.
Chad said he would make my decisions if I made his…. So I told him he was coming to State *grin* But he didn’t make my decision yet…
Ha ha... just got back from Linear Algebra... almost didn't go, because I feel like crap and i have a lot to do today... but my teacher made it all worth it. Not only did he tell us exactly what would be on the test, he ranted about his mother (who is visiting) for like, half the class. And he had to stop in the middle of the class and do yoga to calm down. And he threw chalk at people. It was great. Hence, the quote of the day is from Linear Algebra... Sort of a comment on Wal-mart, Frat boys, and life in general.
Dr. Knudson:I wrote out a shopping list for my mother and sent her to Wal-Mart, and she was gone for three fucking hours! Frat boy that sits behind me:Man, Wal-mart is great... if they put a boobie bar in there, I'd stay there all the time.
Just a note.... Sephen is not all about sex. Someone I recommended it too said it was, but i have compiled the statistics.... out of the 34 Sephen strips published to date, only 6 of them are about sex (implied or otherwise)... that's less than 1/5 of the comic... which is less than the sex content of say, Sinfest, or even *gasp* Mega Tokyo (if you don't count the dead piro days and stick man strips). Imagine that.
At least Sephen doesn't lust after 15 year old anime girls... *grin* She just uses her man for sex. Not unlike Tank Girl, hence another reason I compare Sephen to a combination of Tank Girl and Gundam Wing... You want something that's all about sex, watch Tank Girl. Oh yeah.
It's like the first time you got laid... and you looked up and said, "Daddy, are you sure this is right?"
~Tank Girl, talking to Jet (her sidekick)
This is my brain..... in part, at least.
